American celebrities, facing increasing criticism for adopting children from Third World countries (and possibly the high cost of supporting those children in a global economic recession) have turned their attention to what is rapidly becoming a new fashion trend: the adoption of highways.

Angelina Jolie, who adopted children from Cambodia, Vietnam and Ethiopia, apparently set off the new craze when she adopted Samdach Preah Sihanouk Boulevard in Phnom Penh.

Explaining her decision to adopt a Cambodian highway, the actress said, "Families are what ground you. But a well-made roadway, whether constructed of concrete, macadam, cobblestone or asphalt, really helps you on your journey through life."

Ms. Jolie has since adopted three more roadways throughout Asia — including a cul de sac in Bali she named after her dog, "Dexter" — and reportedly is negotiating the adoption of the entire Trans-Siberian Railway.

Actress Mia Farrow reportedly has adopted the Seoul Ring Expressway in South Korea and warned her former boyfriend, Woody Allen, to "keep his degenerate hands off of it."

In retaliation, Allen adopted the Ho Chi Minh Trail in Vietnam, changed its name to the Soon Yi Greater Mekong Sub-region Bypass and applied to the Vietnamese government for permission to marry it.

Meg Ryan, who previously adopted a daughter from China, has expanded her "international family" with the adoption of Beijing Beltway, as well as a side road that leads to the main parking structure, the Olympic Swimming "Cube."

Other celebrities have turned their attention to African streets where they say "you get more roadway for your rand." Madonna donated 237.56 million "kwacha" to the government of Malawi (approximately $43, American) and was allowed to adopt several of that country's highways.

"They aren't really highways yet," she gushed. "More like goat paths. But they are the cutest little things! And the best thing is you don't have to feed them!"

Most governments allow people to adopt roadways with minimal restrictions and obligations, which appeals to increasingly cash-strapped celebrities who want to remain viable. "An adopted kid will cost ya, like, a couple of million bucks by the time you put him through college," said one A-list celebrity who asked not to be named. "I just adopted a lovely little lane in Cape Cod and it doesn't need shots or nuthin'."

Sadly, replying to an e-mail she received via the Internet, actress Nicole Kidman paid $300,000 to adopt a 400-mile stretch of highway in Abuja, Nigeria, only to find out the e-mail was a scam and that there are no actual roads in that country. Additionally, she lost $120,000 to facilitate the transfer of more than $50 million to her personal bank account in Beverly Hills.

The money allegedly belonged to former emperor "Highly Selassy," who said he needed Kidman's help in getting the money out of the country.

Tom Cruise, Kidman's former husband, had better luck when, under the alias "Elron H. Ubbard," he adopted a German autobahn and handed it over to the Church of Scientology in retaliation for that country's refusal to show any John Travolta movies.

It is unknown where this passion for the adoption of highways by celebrities will lead. Former Beatle Paul McCartney reportedly is attempting to adopt "a long and winding road" in Mongolia.

And an angry Elton John, blocked by a judge from adopting a Ukrainian baby, reportedly vowed to "adopt every highway in Ukrania, wherever that is."

Read Charles Memminger's blog at http://charleyworld.honadvblogs.com.