Do you have an unusual health problem that is hurting your relationships with other people?

You might have extreme fatigue, for example. But, your doctor can't figure out why.

Or do you suspect you have sleep apnea? You wake up suddenly to gasp for air. Your mate might act annoyed that you woke him up, too.

Any oddball illness can destroy a marriage or any other close relationship.

Consider a woman we'll call Vicky. She was sick for over 17 years due to mold in the crawlspace of her home.

"My husband thought I was exaggerating my tiredness and sick feelings," says Vicky. "I wasn't able to get off the couch, shop, or take care of the kids. Ultimately, he left me."

Vicky had to move from the house after her divorce, so she started getting well.

"It's sad that my marriage was ruined on account of this," says Vicky. "No one understands if you have a strange illness that doesn't fit a certain description."

Vicky was watching a special on TV about allergies to mold when she realized her illness matched what the TV doctors were saying.

"After the divorce, I went back to the house, since it was up for sale," says Vicky. "My illness returned. I stayed in the house for just six hours, and sure enough, I started feeling the indescribable ill feeling I'd felt for 17 years. I called a mold specialist to clean up the house."

A doctor we'll call Jack says he's seen many relationships fall apart due to unusual sicknesses.

"A spouse or friend will think it's all in the person's head," says Jack. "So, they abandon that person. Who needs a hypochondriac in their life?"

If you have a really strange illness that does not fit a certain description, start to do a lot of research on the Internet. Try to piece together some type of investigation that will help you talk to your doctor.

"My friends all abandoned me in junior high," says an attorney we'll call Carl. "I developed a strange rash all over my body. They thought I had some sort of plague!"

After two years, Carl found out he was allergic to certain dyes, fabrics, and laundry detergents.

"This was 25 years ago," says Carl. "Back then, it was tough to get information on allergies."

Carl's wife, Anne, now a grandmother, says she was extremely tired all of her life. But, last year, Anne's sister was diagnosed with a vitamin B-12 deficiency.

Anne's doctor found out Anne also lacked vitamin B-12. Within two weeks, Anne was hiking with her grandchildren in the mountains near her home.

"Thank God for the Internet," says Anne. "My sister joined a health chat forum, and some of her online friends diagnosed her before her doctor did! They helped her rule out reasons for her exhaustion one by one."

Don't give up searching for answers if you have a strange illness.

Some problems can be traced to food allergies, environmental factors, nutritional deficiencies, or infections.

If an illness is undiagnosed, people can grow tired of hearing your complaints. You become locked into a stressful world of your own.

"My cousins, friends, and spouse all abandoned me when the mold in my house was making me sick," says Vicky. "For 17 years, my life was taken from me. If I'd had the Internet back then, I could have tracked down the cause of my illness within a few hours!"

Judi Hopson and Emma Hopson are authors of a stress management book for paramedics, firefighters and police, "Burnout To Balance: EMS Stress." Ted Hagen is a family psychologist. Contact them through the Web site www.hopsonglobal.com.