ORLANDO, Fla. — It was like being at your own wedding — a day of rejoicing and exultation and entering an exciting new phase of your life — and then seeing the ex-girlfriend who ripped your heart out sitting in the front row of the church.

Why was Shaquille O’Neal sitting courtside at the Magic’s huge Game 4 overtime victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers on Tuesday night?
Who sent him an invitation to the party? He was more out of place than Rush Limbaugh dancing the night away to the Dixie Chicks at Barack Obama’s inauguration ball.
Can you believe it? The guy who destroyed the franchise 13 years ago when he bolted for L.A., actually showed up at the amped-up Am on a night when the Magic and their fans were raucously relishing their resurrection.
I realize it’s a free country and Shaq, a 7-foot-2, 350-pound man who lives in Orlando during the offseason, has every right to go wherever he darn well pleases. But my question is this . . . why?
Why would a player who has torn down Orlando’s franchise both symbolically and semantically show up at the Magic’s biggest home playoff game in years?
This was a Magic housewarming attended by none other than the ol’ home-wrecker himself. This was like a deadbeat husband resurfacing when Mom is finally happily remarried and the kids are calling somebody else “Daddy.”
The Magic have an admirable policy where they take care of their former players and provide them with access to tickets, but in Shaq’s case shouldn’t the policy be reviewed? Instead of giving him seats near the floor, may I suggest a different locale — like, say, Section Z, Row Z, Seat Z; right up there somewhere above the polar ice cap?
Seriously, the only way Shaq should have shown up Tuesday night was if he promised to be the halftime entertainment. Instead of an acrobat on a unicycle, Shaq should have taken the court wearing a bib and carrying a knife and fork — all the better to eat the bitter, caustic words he has had for Magic superstar Dwight Howard and Coach Stan Van Gundy in recent months.
Let’s start with Dwight — a young, exciting, dominant big man just as Shaq was in Orlando more than a decade ago. Dwight’s arrival has saved a franchise that was nearly ruined by Shaq’s departure. Dwight is a polite, charismatic, good-natured superstar who exudes a positive image for the league.
And so how does Shaq treat him? Like absolute garbage, that’s how.
In a recent issue of Sports Illustrated, Shaq mockingly answered a reporter’s query about Dwight by saying, “Dwight Howard? Who’s that? I don’t know that name.” He then went on to refer to Dwight as an “impostor.”
Some people laugh this off as just “Shaq being Shaq.” That is a cop-out. Such rudeness and disrespect shouldn’t be explained away so easily. That’s not Shaq being Shaq. That’s Shaq being an insufferable jerk.
The same with Shaq’s personal attack on Van Gundy a few months ago. Granted, Van Gundy started it when he accused Shaq of flopping (which he did) during a game. But Shaq took the verbal volley down into the gutter. He called Van Gundy “a nobody.” He called Van Gundy “a bum.” He called Van Gundy a choking “master of panic.” He said flopping reminded him of Van Gundy’s “whole coaching career.” He said, “Every player who’s ever played for (Van Gundy) doesn’t like him.”
Wonder what Shaq has to say now that Van Gundy and Dwight are one victory away from leading the Magic to the NBA Finals? Meanwhile, The Big Gate Crasher is relegated to getting his monumental ego stroked by showing up unwanted as a celebrity spectator at the mega-postseason games he used to actually play in.
Shaq may be one of the greatest players the game has ever known, but he is no friend of the Orlando Magic.
Far from it — which, by the way, are where his seats should be in relation to the court the next time he shows up at Amway Arena.