Army Capt. Jason Honeycutt just wanted to lend a helping hand when he reached out for his 13-month-old daughter, Ellie — but she wasn't having it.

Honeycutt's wife, Amie, was balancing the toddler on her hip while preparing a quick hamburger dinner for their family of five and visiting relatives. Honeycutt tried to relieve his wife of her little load, but Ellie began to cry.

That isn't much of a surprise for Honeycutt, who left for a yearlong deployment to Iraq when Ellie was a mere 10 days old. Still, it isn't easy.

"She knows who I am, but she doesn't look to me for comfort or anything," said Honeycutt, 34, of Schofield Barracks. "So it's hard."

After being in Iraq for 12 months, Honeycutt is still happy to be home — and alive. The two-time Purple Heart recipient received his medals after being injured by improvised explosive devices, or IEDs, during two separate deployments. On July 12 in Sharqat, Iraq, Honeycutt suffered minor shrapnel wounds to his back and face after an IED along a pathway blew up.

"It was out of luck that no one died," he said.

Honeycutt is among the more than 15,000 Hawai'i-based military service members who returned home from deployment this year. Thousands of these men and women are adjusting to being back with their families.

Military personnel, along with their spouses and children, all face challenges as they navigate the reunion process, experts say. And the sometimes challenging process can make for bittersweet holidays this season.

"A lot of times, people kind of confuse that one (homecoming) event as the reunion, but reunion is really much more complex," said Gina Peirce, senior prevention specialist with Army Community Service's Family Advocacy Program. "It can even take a 'healthy' couple or family up to six months, even more to adapt to the changes that have occurred over the last 12 months."

Reintegration with family takes time, from reconnecting with loved ones to fitting into well-established household routines. Deployments and reunions also sometimes involve deeper and more troubling issues, which top military officials have acknowledged.

"There is no doubt that prolonged and multiple combat tours have put great pressure on the force," Secretary of Defense Robert M. Gates said in an address at a House Army Caucus breakfast on July 22 in Washington, D.C. "I can assure you that we are monitoring the situation and paying close attention to telling statistics like suicide and divorce rates."

On Dec. 10, the Army reported 147 suicides this year as of November. The number surpasses last year's total of 143, which was the highest number in the three decades that the Army has kept records.

Data released last month by the Pentagon revealed a divorce rate among members of the active-duty Army, Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps of 3.6 percent this year, compared with 3.4 percent last year, according to the Defense Manpower Data Center.

Everyone — regardless of rank and previous deployments — needs help with "the transition to normalcy," emphasized Army Col. Walter Piatt, commander of the 3rd Infantry Brigade Combat Team, 25th Infantry Division at Schofield Barracks.

Military officials, psychologists and family counselors advise those who have just returned home not to hesitate to seek help — even for the seemingly smallest issues — and to take things slow.

"What we're doing is making a difference (abroad)," Piatt said. "The cost is our soldiers are physically wounded in combat, but they also suffer wounds that we cannot see that we must treat upon our return."

INVISIBLE WOUNDS

Army Reserve Cpl. Kekupaa DePont celebrated his 21st birthday while deployed to Iraq in 2005. When DePont came home from his yearlong deployment, he made up for lost time and partied — to the point of destruction.

"I was a heavy alcoholic," said DePont, 25, of Ha'iku, Maui. Beyond celebrating his milestone birthday, drinking helped "shell my emotions."

Within several months after returning home from Iraq, DePont also had problems with being anti-social, sleeping and having nightmares of mortar attacks and people getting wounded.

DePont was eventually diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and, with the help of a psychiatrist he was seeing, was admitted into a six-week, in-patient PTSD rehabilitation program at Tripler Army Medical Center.

About 1 out of every 5 military service members who have returned from Iraq and Afghanistan — an estimated 300,000 nationwide — suffer from PTSD or major depression, according to a RAND Corp. study in April.

A Pentagon health service survey released Monday also showed that abuse of painkillers among troops has jumped to 22 percent, from 10 percent in 2005.

There aren't "just a few bad apples" in need of help, said Rick Sword, a Maui-based private practice clinical psychologist who specializes in the treatment of PTSD with veterans. "There's a bad barrel."

Sword is working with Philip Zimbardo, professor emeritus at Stanford University, to develop a new therapy to help veterans suffering from PTSD.

Based on Sword's work with World War II 442nd nisei veterans, "time therapy" aims to revive the 442nd's "Go for Broke" spirit to help new veterans overcome adversity, Sword said, encouraging veterans to focus on a brighter future and to be part of a positive social structure among other vets.

Today DePont is doing "much better," he said. He's focusing on pre-med studies with the University of Hawai'i-Hilo's distance learning program for psychology.

"Even if you don't think you have a problem, seek help anyway," DePont advised others suffering from combat stress reactions. "It doesn't make you any less of a person."

MARITAL ISSUES

The Honeycutts took a break from their evening routine with their three young daughters — ages 7, 5 and 13 months — to share some of the biggest adjustments they've had to make as a couple since Jason Honeycutt returned home in October.

Honeycutt, who has been on three yearlong deployments to Iraq since 2003, spent the most recent deployment leading a company of nearly 120 soldiers.

"When you come home, you still kind of think things should still be that way. " said Honeycutt, holding his wife Amie's hand at their dining table. "I have to remind myself, you know, she's not a soldier. She doesn't have to follow my orders."

For Amie, 28, it's a matter of getting used to "really having him home," she said.

"I was used to doing my own thing, going to bed when I wanted to go to bed and leaving my stuff where I wanted to leave my stuff," she quipped. "I can't do that now that he's home."

Becoming reacquainted and readjusting responsibilities and roles within the household are common challenges among reunited couples, said Beth K. Yano, clinical psychologist with child and adolescent psychology services at Tripler Army Medical Center.

"We tell families it's going to be a one-, two-, three-month phase of adjustment," Yano said. "Although I hear some do fine from day one, so there's a whole spectrum."

Marital concerns aren't taken lightly among the military — especially with the latest data on the upward trend of military divorces.

If problems persist more than three months, that's a red flag that indicates there may be trouble in a marriage and that help is needed. If there's violence, immediate intervention is called for, Yano said.

Yano stresses the importance of communication throughout all phases of a deployment, not just the homecoming.

"Be willing to talk about things," Jason Honeycutt said. "All of our fights usually are resolved easily if one of us says, 'OK, maybe I was wrong, but here's what I was thinking.' It takes the emotional aspect out of (an argument) and you can talk about it like rational adults."

FAMILY MATTERS

Draped in vibrant violet orchid lei and surrounded by his beaming wife and their three giddy daughters, an emotional Army Sgt. Erik Noriega paused to compose himself minutes after being reunited with his family after a yearlong deployment to Iraq.

Being with his wife and girls — ages 16, 11 and 10 — was all that he looked forward to while he was away, Noriega said last month during a homecoming ceremony for nearly 400 soldiers at Wheeler Army Airfield.

Two weeks later, the Schofield Barracks family spent an evening at home eating pizza and cheering on their hometown basketball team, the San Antonio Spurs, on television.

While it seemed the blended family had jumped right back into being a family again, minor readjustments were still being made, they said.

"With the girls, they're used to going to Mommy for everything — signing papers, asking questions and permission to do (things)," said Noriega, 30, an engineer who has been on three deployments since 2002, once to Afghanistan and twice to Iraq.

The family was still working on re-establishing his presence and role in the household.

"They respect him," said his wife, Monique, 38, a nurse. "They're just used to asking me."

An estimated 700,000 children nationwide have at least one active-duty military parent deployed, according to a 2007 report by the American Psychological Association's Presidential Task Force on Military Deployment Services for Youth, Families and Service Members.

As these children — and their parents — learn how to adjust to a deployment, they're also having to learn how to adjust during the reunion process that follows. Readjustment issues for families include re-establishing roles, routines and bonds.

"One of the things I really like to stress is just that kids are going to react so differently depending on their age, on their personality, on how many deployments they've been through," Peirce said.

She advises parents to spend one-on-one time with each child — regardless of their age — to open up opportunities for communication. At the same time, she says, returning parents need to take things slow and not push themselves on their children.

RESOURCES AT HAND

About 50 Army soldiers who had recently returned from Iraq packed the front rows of Schofield's Smith Theater last month for more than a dozen back-to-back briefings — each about 15 minutes — covering everything from suicide prevention and substance abuse to anger management and financial readiness.

At the top of the lineup was Peirce's briefing on expectations for soldiers reuniting with loved ones. "Reunion is a process," Peirce said as she began her slide presentation.

The briefings are among several requirements for returning Army soldiers to take part in to help them in their transition back home.

Even before homecomings, families attend classes on what to expect and soldiers undergo individual risk assessments. Soldiers also undergo a post-deployment health assessment.

Many programs and services are available to address transition or post traumatic stress issues, including courses offered by the Army's Family Strong Series Program, peer-to-peer sessions and family retreats.

Military branches across the board offer similar services, many of which could be found at Military OneSource, a free service provided by the U.S. Department of Defense for active-duty, Guard and Reserve service members and their families.

Locally, the Air Force requires airmen to meet with a military family life counselor within seven days after returning home, and there are follow-ups every 30, 60, 90 and 120 days. Its Hele On Program allows children to experience a mock deployment and homecoming.

In the Navy, more than 10 Fleet and Family Service Center employees participate in a Return and Reunion Program. Specialists are flown to ships a week or two before sailors return to port, to provide classes covering reintegration topics including anger and stress management, financial responsibility, and reuniting with spouses and children.

The Marine Corps' Marine & Family Services include counseling services, transition assistance and suicide awareness programs. Its Marine Corps Family Team Building Program offers services for family readiness, deployment support and relationship enhancement.

The Army's Honeycutt has taken part in mandatory reintegration briefings. Back at home, Honeycutt said he appreciates the services available to fellow soldiers and their families.

Honeycutt could be deployed again, but he expects to stay in the States for about two years. His wife, Amie, is expecting the couple's fourth child in the summer.

Amie Honeycutt said her family doesn't take anything for granted — especially after weathering her husband's absence and injuries.

"I've learned after (three) deployments that even though (there's) a little bit of a readjustment period, that's still time that you have at home," she said. "You need to appreciate every second of it, because you never know when they're gonna go back."

Reach Zenaida at 535-8174. Follow her Twitter updates at www.twitter.com/zenaidaserrano.