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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, August 28, 2009

Helpless to bust phone scofflaws


By Lee Cataluna

It was one of those interminably long East Honolulu left turn signals, the kind that leaves you sitting there so long you can feel your fingernails growing as you clench the steering wheel.

Look around, check the light. Still red. Look around, check the light. Still red. Look around ... In the rear view mirror, there was a policeman, obvious in his shiny black car; off-duty and unmarked, but it said police brass just by its vibe. Besides, I recognized his face.

He was rummaging through his middle console. Was he reaching for a cell phone? Goodness gracious! Then he put his hand up to his ear. Holy cow, this could be a full-blown incident!

But no. Stand down. He just scratched his ear, put both hands on the steering wheel and proceeded through the intersection safely. Way to set a good example, sir.

But it brought to mind a question:

So what are you supposed to do if you spot a flagrant law breaker?

It's probably happened more than once. You're driving along, earnestly obeying the hands-free law even though your thumbs are itching to text your friend to ask important questions like, "Whassup witchu?" but resisting, because that's illegal now even though you're stuck in slow traffic, bored, lonely and sick of all 1,000 songs on your iPod ...

And then you spot her. Cell phone pressed to her ear with impunity. Other hand fixing her bangs. Only thing hands-free is the steering wheel. You look at her. She looks at you. You make the "Hala!" look with your eyes. She makes the "Oh yeah? So what you gonna' do about it?" look with her eyebrows.

What are you going to do about it? Bust out your cell phone and call the police? Snap a pic of her lawlessness with your camera phone? No can! That's breaking the law, even if done in the spirit of busting on someone breaking the law.

In the weeks since the city's ban on driving while using hand-held devices, there has certainly been a noticeable decrease in the number of people yakking and weaving on the roads. This, however, makes the stubborn ones ignoring the ban all the more obvious. There they go, the lady a quarter mile from her driveway who couldn't wait to get home to make the call; the guy driving the delivery van calling for directions while slowly trolling the street; the "I'm important" drivers who stare straight ahead with the cell phones pressed to their ears, willfully ignoring the outraged stares and pointed fingers from law-abiding fellow drivers. And all you can do is think, "Hala!"