Posted on: Saturday, September 6, 2008
Some fun, at GOP's expense
By David Shapiro
We gave the Democrats grief last week, so it's the GOP's turn this week as we again "flASHback" on the news that amused and confused:
John McCain decried the "constant partisan rancor" in Washington while letting it flow at his own convention by sending surrogates to bash his opponent as a "celebrity senator" and "big-government liberal." You'd think an old fighter pilot would drop his own bombs.
California's GOP chairman summarized VP nominee Sarah Palin's appeal: "She cuts taxes and shoots moose." I guess that's an improvement over Dick Cheney. He cuts oil deals and shoots his hunting partners.
Palin once described the U.S. war in Iraq as a "task that is from God." She'd better hope not or there's going to be hell to pay for how badly they've screwed it up.
Back home, a psychiatrist said murder defendant Matthew Higa suffers from "confabulation" — the mind creating alternative scenarios to replace unpleasant realities. Sounds like the Republican angst about President Bush.
Councilman Gary Okino says barring city leaders from spending public funds on pro-rail ads would be like sending soldiers to war without guns. Hasn't he learned anything from Sarah Palin? If you give a politician a gun, Bullwinkle gets shot.
The state gave away $100 million in technology tax credits in 2006 to companies that generated only 1,450 full-time jobs in Hawai'i. Must have all been CEO jobs.
The Legislative Reference Bureau provided ammunition to Constitutional Convention opponents by dubiously claiming a ConCon could cost up to $41.7 million. Only if they plan to pay for it with technology tax credits.
The Department of Education might cut night security at 76 schools to save money. They've got to find cash somewhere to send more school officials to conferences at Disney World.
David Murdock, the billionaire owner of Lana'i, lashed out at island opponents of his plan for the state's largest wind farm, saying he's "giving far more to everyone in this room than you are giving to me." His audience didn't know whether to genuflect or confabulate.
A bus driver was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence after frightened passengers called 911 about his erratic steering. Now we know why bus drivers hate cell phones.
And the quote of the week ... from UH quarterbacks coach Nick Rolovich on his confidence in new starting QB Inoke Funaki: "I don't want Inoke looking over his shoulder. We're going with Inoke until we feel it's time to make a change." Rolo sure knows how to make a guy feel secure.
Reach David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, at dave@volcanicash.net. Read his blog, Volcanic Ash, at www.HonoluluAdvertiser.com/Blogs.
Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.
