SAN FRANCISCO — Ordinarily, a November game matching a pair of 2-7 teams would be a dead-end game, causing nausea for those forced to witness the horror of it all.

This used to be a proud and esteemed rivalry, until both franchises ended up living in a dumpster in the alley behind NFL headquarters on Park Avenue in New York.

Well, the St. Louis Rams and San Francisco 49ers are candidates to defy all smack talk. Could it be that they will conspire to entertain us? The storylines and subplots may turn out to be more fascinating than the actual competition, but it's all we've got.

Let the Cowboys and Redskins provide their fancy, prime-time, highfalutin football to the masses.

This game is for the Tom Joads of the football nation.

We've headed to California and desperation is in the air.

Introducing your Sunday fight card:

MIKE SINGLETARY

vs. JIM HASLETT

The interims are seeking full-time coaching appointments. Singletary has all but pulled an Ozzy Osbourne and bitten into a live bat to fire up his woeful players. And then there's the grimly determined Haslett, who followed up his Katrina experience by taking over in St. Louis to deal with the grisly aftermath of Hurricane Zygmunt.

My hunch is that Rams chairman Chip Rosenbloom is inclined to keep Haslett for 2009. But nothing has been decided, and Haslett needs to win some games.

A victory over the 49ers would make Haslett 3-3 as the Rams' emergency attendant. Compared to the 0-4 start under Scott Linehan, 3-3 would look spiffy — well, except to delusional fans who inexplicably have concluded that Bill Cowher is unable to sleep or eat as he anxiously awaits Rosenbloom's call.

If the Rams sink deeper into the muck, Haslett will cling to increasingly precarious job

security. Haslett and Singletary are two proud competitors. Their fate is in the hands of fumbling, bumbling players. Who said the coaching life is fair?

MIKE MARTZ

vs. THE RAMS

From the time he took over the offense in 1999 until the day he walked off the sideline in October 2005 for the final time as the team's head coach, the Rams had a winning percentage of .595 (including postseason) and averaged 27.5 points per game. Since Martz was kicked out of Rams Park, the franchise has a winning percentage of .327, and averages 19 points per game.

Remember the olden days, when our primal screams were limited to Mad Mike's peculiar use of timeouts and replay challenges, and his obsession with assorted Eric Crouches and Kirk Farmers?

Martz's own coaching star is descending, and if he's destined to lose his gig as the 49ers' offensive coordinator, he'll do everything within his power to take down the Rams defense in a blaze of glory. Mad Mike craves the idea of whacking the Rams with favorite pieces selected from his "Greatest Show on Turf" playbook.

Except that Martz doesn't have many playmakers, and the other Mad Mike (Singletary) may intervene and order up 37 runs by halfback Frank Gore. Either way, the sideline camera shots of Martz should be priceless.

ISAAC BRUCE

vs. THE RAMS

From 1994 through 2007, Bruce was the Rams' go-to guy, catching 942 passes for 14,109 yards and 84 touchdowns. His 73-yard miracle catch-and-run won Super Bowl 34.

And then one day last spring, Linehan and GM Jay Zygmunt told Bruce to turn in his playbook because they wanted to give his starting job to ... Drew Bennett?

Wouldn't that make you bitter?

Wouldn't that make you want to join the enemy 49ers?

Bruce isn't speaking this week. But it's safe to assume that he wants revenge, he wants a victory, and he wants the football. Within Bruce's cold heart lurks the desire to apply justice against those who betrayed him. Bruce (and Martz) is Michael Corleone, looking for Fredo at the end of Godfather II.

TORRY HOLT vs. BRUCE

Holt and Bruce were arguably the best receiving tandem in NFL history. Now they've been told that they're old and slow and close to being toast. The pride will kick in. Holt doesn't wants to watch Bruce, his friend and former running mate, catch more passes and make more plays. Holt, the forgotten wideout, wants to be remembered today. This is about pride. And Rams offensive coordinator Al Saunders would be smart to tap into Holt's yearning.

MARTZ vs. HASLETT

Ah, remember those blood-boiling clashes between Martz's Rams and Haslett's Saints? Until Bill Belichick damaged Martz's mystique in Super Bowl 36, Haslett was the coach who knew how to disrupt Martz and the glitzy Rams offense. Back in the day, Martz despised Haslett. And now Haslett has Martz's old job, and is seated in Martz's old chair, in Martz's old office. The temperature is rising.

If the first half is boring, let these two rivals duke it out on the 50-yard line at halftime and call it a day.