Lots of famous people are on MySpace. But a good number of them are long dead.

Every dead poet, philosopher, artist and past president you can think of has a MySpace page — and many are presented in the first person, as if Thomas Edison and Joan of Arc are lounging at home in their pajamas, posting pictures and updating their blogs.

Benjamin Franklin recommends his visitors read a bio that's posted on the site. "Maybe," he writes, "it will help people realize that flying a freakin' kite wasn't my greatest accomplishment."

Charles Darwin has gotten tired of people spamming his page. So he'll be approving comments before they're posted, thanks.

And George Washington asks us: "Who rocked the revolution? ... That's right, I did."

The Internet can bridge distances, bringing people together across continents. But now — thanks to some creative souls with a lot of time on their hands — it can also bridge decades, even centuries.

Who thought Henry David Thoreau, who found such solace in solitude, would approve of a social networking site? Or that private Emily Dickinson would find the exhibitionism to blog? And who would have predicted that, in the Internet age, Abraham Lincoln and John Wilkes Booth would be friends?

They'll add you as their friends, too — after all, that's what MySpace is all about.

But the anachronism raises all kinds of etiquette questions. What do we say to our longdeparted heroes? Can we really talk banalities with poet Marianne Moore or Mary Todd Lincoln? Can we tell Alexander the Great to have a great weekend, or urge Napoleon to hang in there 'cause Monday's almost over? But, as with almost everything online, it's best not to overthink things.

After all, even the most articulate voices of history seem nearly illiterate on MySpace. Mathematician Rene Descartes — he who brought us "I think, therefore I am" — introduces himself this way: "Well, I'm a famous philospher, mathemitician, and scientist lol. I went to college when I was 8 because I am so smart rofl, but later I learned how much of a noob I really was."

And in another circle of MySpace friends, the Founding Fathers hash out some specifics of the Constitution by commenting on each other's blog entries. "I think that's probably a good idea," says Washington about a hard-won compromise. "Let's use that. WOOT."

We couldn't resist dropping in on the heroes of history, the famous figures who have returned to us online for "networking and friends" (except for Pablo Picasso, who also signed on for "dating" and "serious relationships").

Here's what we learned about how famous faces of the past mingle among the living online:

INTRODUCING YOURSELF

Shakespeare: "It is correct. I am backeth! It was once that I had a flight of sleep, but I have arisen to reclaim my art in this new and bright millennium."

Salvador Dali: "At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since."

James Joyce: "I've put in so many enigmas and puzzles that it will keep the professors busy for centuries arguing over what I meant, and that's the only way of insuring one's immortality."

Richard Nixon: "I welcome this kind of examination of my profile, because the MySpace users have got to know whether or not their friend is a crook. Well, I am not a crook!"

Walt Whitman: "If you want purely biographical stuff, I understand there's a really good article about me on Wikipedia."

Ernest Hemingway: "I would like to apologize for one thing. While writing Death in the Afternoon, I sounded like a total jerk, and I promise you, I'm not a jerk. I'm actually a pretty nice guy."

THEY'D LIKE TO MEET

John Keats: "Poets, nightingales, people who like my poems, perhaps a doctor to cure me once and for all of this debilitating sickness."

William Shakespeare: "Kenneth Branagh, Patrick Stewart, Marlon Brando (sadly, never will), Al Pacino, Emma Thompson, Mel Gibson (just to slap him)."

Ernest Hemingway: "I'd like to meet all my fans. I'm glad that you all enjoy reading my books. Some of you may not like my books, but hey, there are other authors to choose from aren't there?"

Beethoven: "I am not what you call a people person."

'THANKS FOR THE ADD'

Stacey, to poet John Berryman: "i never dreamt i would live to see the day John Berryman left a comment on my page. never. also, he died for our sins and washed us clean with scotch."

Terry, to President Abraham Lincoln: "Thank you for the add. I've admired your courage and politics for quite awhile. I also think you were kinda hot when you were younger. ..."

Mindi, to poet Charles Bukowski: "oh my bukowski (omb — to those in the know!)! i thought you were gone ... so glad you're just still drinking!"

Annie, to poet Sylvia Plath: "HI, SYLVIA! I'M GLAD WE'RE FRIENDS. COME READ MY POETRY IN MY BLOG IF YOU HAVE THE TIME. I SHALL NOT CLAIM TO BE ON YOUR LEVEL, OF COURSE BUT I SING MY SONGS MAINLY FOR MY OWN AMUSEMENT, ANYHOW! ;) BUT YOU MAY ENJOY THEM. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK."

Nick, to writer Gertrude Stein: "Thanks, Gert."

THANKING YOUR HERO

Alessandra, to writer Raymond Carver: "I've no words to thank you. I'll try to do it with my degree thesis on you."

TomO, to President Abraham Lincoln: "Abe, dude, that thing you are doing with trying to free the slaves? Awesome. You da man! You rock that hat like no one else!"

Nicole, to President George Washington: "Thanks for leading our country even though by now ur probably a ba-jillion years old ... — keep on wearin that wig."

Tracy, to first lady Eleanor Roosevelt: "HAAYAA! Happy Birthday, early. And my darling, THANK YOU for saying, 'No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' It is SO true. Peace, Love, Later."