Posted on: Saturday, June 28, 2008
Money's tight, but gripes are abundant
By David Shapiro
flASHback — Baggage checks and snoozy wrecks lead off as we plant tongue in cheek and "flASHback" on the weekly news that amused and confused:
go! airlines plans to ding passengers $25 for a second checked bag. It would be worth it if you could pack an alarm clock loud enough to wake up the pilots.
Some sleep-deprived O'ahuans are questioning the propriety of the city hiring game breeders to control noisy neighborhood roosters. That's like hiring Barbara Marshall to keep Rod Tam quiet.
Mayor Mufi Hannemann, who resisted curbside recycling until voters passed a charter amendment forcing it on him, proclaimed tests in Mililani and Hawai'i Kai to be great successes. Nobody can run to the front of a parade faster.
Honolulu commuters rank as the 27th "greenest" drivers in the nation. With all the potholes we have to navigate, we'd be No. 1 for black and blue.
Gov. Linda Lingle is catching grief for leasing a luxury SUV that gets only 12 mpg after preaching energy conservation. It takes all the fun out of amassing power when you're expected to set a good example.
Congratulations to Senate President Colleen Hanabusa, who's getting married in the summer and teaching political communication at Hawai'i Pacific University in the fall. Nice convergence. Spouses and politicians both define good communication as you agreeing with them.
Speaking of agreement, grammar teachers must have been horrified by the lack of such in this sentence from another publication about a police officer kicked in the groin while making an arrest: "He was taken to Wahiawa General Hospital, where they were treated and released."
Police arrested a suspected highway copper-theft ringleader known as "Freeway Jimmy." If he's found guilty, they ought to make him share a cell with a guy named "Lights-Out Larry."
A Big Island group is gathering signatures for a November ballot initiative to make marijuana offenses the county's lowest law enforcement priority. Even lower than finding out what happened to Peter Boy?
Lingle imposed 4 percent spending cuts on all state departments to deal with the soft economy. I wonder if she'll lead the way by downsizing the fuzzy dice in her new $52,000 Infiniti QX56.
And the quote of the week ... from former University of Hawai'i football coach June Jones, on adjusting to his new job at SMU: "The first week of spring practice, we got rained out. We got snowed out. I immediately knew we needed an indoor facility." The first thing he does is gripe about facilities. Anybody see a pattern?
His columns are archived at www.volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at http://volcanicash.honadvblogs.com.
Reach David Shapiro at dave@volcanicash.net.
