Why do quiet kids make their parents panic?

It's a cliche, but that doesn't mean it's something that was contrived just for sitcoms or comic strips.

Is there any mom who hasn't gone to check on a baby because it isn't crying?

Are there any parents who don't get suspicious when their children aren't making a sound?

You don't have to be a parent to know what I'm talking about. You've encountered the kid who kicks your seat in a plane or theater, or eaten in a restaurant where a child isn't exactly misbehaving but for some reason is still impossible to ignore.

There's a hum that normally surrounds kids. They yammer and sing. They run about and fidget. Even when they're playing contentedly by themselves, there's still the sound of pencils scratching paper, plastic toys banging against each other or sound blaring from the TV.

There's no silence, not normally. That's why it's so alarming when kids aren't creating some sort of buzz.

My 4-year-old is one of those perpetual-motion kids — and often talking, as well. When she stays still and quiet for too long, I find myself feeling her forehead for fever or asking her questions to help me assess her mental state.

My 11-year-old? I don't think he could be deliberately quiet if his life depended on it. He certainly has never been able to do it when I've attempted to buy his silence.

Recently, I've pulled off the road to find out why my daughter wasn't saying anything and tiptoed through a darkened house to find my son after bedtime.

The kids were fine, but I couldn't help being a little creeped out by their lack of animation.

I wouldn't mind if they turned down the volume a little, but I can't stand it when they hit the mute button.

Reach Treena Shapiro at tshapiro@honoluluadvertiser.com.