So the Beijing Games are over. One world, one dream, approximately 1.2 million political prisoners.

But, hey, they ran two marathons and nobody suffered black lung.

As usual, an Olympic planner's best friend is dire expectation.

The TV ratings were great and the sponsors were happy, and now China goes back to its labor camps and its arms exports. It just has better stadiums now.

And since China can dissolve the U.S. economy with a couple of computer clicks, there was no real danger of a boycott.

The world was spellbound, although there was still time for Russia to invade Georgia, like a lot of nations wanted to do during the 1996 Olympics, and for coalition aircraft to drop bombs that killed 89 in Afghanistan.

Still, the Olympics can be a transformational event for a nation that suffers electoral fraud, tortures its prisoners, watches its bridges and highways crumble, builds a canal system that allows a hurricane to destroy a major city, ignores the health needs of 40 million citizens, tolerates an epidemic of alcohol-related deaths and illnesses, refuses to rebuild its public schools, invades sovereign nations on the basis of bogus intelligence, and generally aches for an image makeover to improve its tattered profile throughout the world.

So, please, let's get one.

Indeed, Chicago is charging hard for the 2016 Olympics, which isn't exactly just around the corner but would be America's first summer games in 20 years (Atlanta in 1996). Its competitors are Tokyo, Madrid and Rio de Janeiro. The decision comes down in the fall of 2009.

There was some concern about Chicago weather, but long-range forecasters think that summer will arrive on or around July 25 and isn't expected to leave until July 27. Fur-lined bikinis are being readied for the beach volleyballers, just in case.

Chicago has several advantages in this five-ring derby.

One is its tradition of dictatorship government. As those who attended the Seoul, Moscow and Beijing Olympics know, that makes a difference.

Another is its superior transportation system. The "L" trains serve most of the city. The bus system is also much better, because it was expanded when Ozzie Guillen took over the White Sox and began throwing his players under so many of them.

Every Olympic city strives for the perfect mascot. Chicago already has Ditka.

And, by then, the Cubs, under the innovative leadership of owner Mark Cuban, will be working on maybe their 15th World Series championship.

(Admit it: When you saw the headline "Cuban Kicks Referee," you thought it was NBA season already.)

Actually the details of the Chicago bid indicate that somebody has actually thought about this.

Because Chicago doesn't need many new stadia or roads, it proposes to handle the whole project for $5 billion, including an 80,000-seat Olympic Stadium that will be reduced to 10,000 after the Games.

Beijing cost $40 billion.

Some state and federal funds will be needed, a reality that we all accept after the all-private games in Atlanta, which was dominated by giant overhanging Coke bottles, athletes scrambling to get to the start line on time, and lost bus drivers from Jacksonville.

But the concrete and the plaster and even the medals won't provide the 2016 Olympics with its identity. Only the people can.

Those lucky enough to attend Sydney in 2000 will remember the charm and energy of the Australians when Vince Carter's slam dunks are long forgotten. (They also know that Sydney should be the permanent Olympic site.)

The Greeks of Athens laughed, the Catalans of Barcelona toasted, and the Atlantans clearly had the best of intentions when they scratched their heads.

Depending on what we've become by 2016, Chicago could be our chance to derail all the stereotypes.

In a two-week span Americans can impress our visitors when they:

Hand a visitor a baton, just to prove that some Americans can hold one.

Dive into a pool without creating a cannonball.

Utter the following sentence and make it sound convincing: "Who is Lindsay Lohan?"

Leave a bar at least two hours before last call.

Wear a baseball cap with the bill facing forward.

Learn that the expression "What's up?" consists of two words and does not contain a single "d."

Show an appreciation for the past. Play a vinyl record on a turntable. Jog without earphones. Wear cufflinks. Read a newspaper.

Enter a designer coffee shop, order and pay for a cup, and leave the shop in 120 seconds or fewer.

Learn how to say "Thank you," "You're welcome," "May I help you?" and "Sorry, Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sunday" in 30 different languages.

Recognize a fully-clothed Michael Phelps on the street.

It's a challenge that might well take eight years to meet, but let's hope the world is patient with us. People understand how it is with emerging nations.