Posted on: Wednesday, October 24, 2007
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VOLCANIC ASH
Now we know how we got to where we are
By
David Shapiro
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With the future of the Hawaii Superferry still up in the air as the governor and Legislature wrangle over a special session to sort out the mess, I thought it would be a good time to review how we got to this point.
And as anybody knows who reads the Friday "flASHbacks" in my blog, I'm incapable of reviewing the news without tongue lodged in cheek.
So with that in mind, here's a reprise of some of the stories that amused and confused as this Supersaga played out:
You knew the Superferry was in trouble when passengers on a test cruise off O'ahu became so seasick that they thought they saw a passing humpback whale flip them the fin.
Superferry execs thought themselves clever when they answered the Supreme Court's order for an environmental review by launching early service to Maui and Kaua'i. If they had a death wish, they could have saved themselves a lot of trouble by just re-christening their ship "The Titanic."
Kaua'i protesters on surfboards who stopped the Superferry in Nawiliwili Harbor evaded U.S. Coast Guard crew by splashing water on them. Doesn't the Coast Guard train recruits on how to play Marco Polo?
Activists on Kaua'i said they had no choice but to shout obscenities at Gov. Linda Lingle when she appeared at a community meeting in Lihu'e. They would have held up signs to voice their curses more quietly, but they couldn't spell the words.
Superferry news was briefly interrupted when a Kaua'i family was busted in the largest outdoor marijuana operation ever prosecuted in Hawai'i, involving some 6,000 plants worth nearly $6 million. Aha, so that's what Kaua'i protesters don't want to share with Superferry passengers.
The Superferry protests are giving everybody ideas. For instance, researchers reporting on Hawai'i's high rate of infection from a drug-resistant Superbug hoped that putting "super" in the bacteria's name would incite protesters to jump in the water to keep it away.
Three O'ahu men who rode the Superferry to Maui allegedly tried to return with three pickup trucks loaded with river rocks. The scary thing is that they might have gotten away with it if it had been rock cocaine.
Hawaii Superferry employees get no respect. When they demonstrated in front of the Supreme Court asking motorists to honk to save their jobs, annoyed justices cited them for contempt of nap time. When employees entered a float in a Kahului parade made up to looklike their catamaran Alakai, environmentalists accused them of running over the humpback float.
Senate President Colleen Hanabusa scolded Superferry execs for not spending enough time at the Capitol kissing up to legislators. Now that's a fitting motto for the Senate: Puckered lips float ships.
Gov. Linda Lingle still insists her administration did nothing wrong by letting the Superferry sail without an environmental review. It's one of life's great mysteries how politicians never do anything wrong, but things so seldom turn out right.
Finally, a couple of quotes that nicely bookend the twisted path from there to here:
Kaua'i Sen. Gary Hooser in a 2004 resolution he co-authored singing the Superferry's praises: "The vessels that will be used by Hawaii Superferry Inc. are environmentally friendly; and ... will use the cleanest and most energy-efficient marine engines in the world."
Hooser in opposing a 2007 special session to save the ferry: "We can't just look at the money the Superferry is going to lose. We have to look at the other side of the situation and what it's going to cost the environment."
David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.
