Way back when we all were sniffly-nosed knuckleheads, our mothers told us to be happy with what you get.

It's time to forget about what your mama told you.

In these economically unforgiving times, it pays to play a little rough with the schoolyard bullies who set the prices for the things we crave. Armed with a little gumption and knowledge, consumers who are willing to haggle can create their own discounts on a range of goodies, from wide-screen TVs to auto rentals.

The secret lies in strength, experts say. In the art of haggling, the deals don't go to the dainty.

First and foremost, remember the golden rule: "People will not negotiate with you unless they believe you can help them or hurt them," said Roger Volkema, a management professor at American University and author of "The Negotiation Toolkit: How to Get Exactly What You Want in Any Business or Personal Situation."

In other words, when there is something in it for the store - making a sale at the end of a sales period, or keeping a faithful customer happy - a lower price is more likely.

And a lot of time, haggling works. A recent survey by Consumer Reports found that more than 90 percent of shoppers who tried to negotiate a better deal on goods and services got one, on everything from furniture, electronics and appliances to floor and demonstration models, even medical bills.

Smart hagglers approach the deal from a position of legitimacy, said Daniel Shapiro, Harvard professor and co-author of "Beyond Reason: Using Emotions to Negotiate." They have evidence of a better price on the Internet, or another valid reason why they should pay less, such as a defect in the item.

"Simply walking into a store and saying, 'Give me a reduced price because I want a reduced price' " is a mistake, Shapiro said. "That's not very persuasive, and to the contrary, it can be counterproductive."

Winning hagglers balance the innately competitive nature of negotiation with respect, manners and even chumminess, experts said.

"Creating some rapport in the beginning is always a good idea," Volkema said, "because people enjoy doing favors for their friends, and folks who are like them."

It's also crucial to overcome the natural reluctance to question a store's price, Shapiro said: "Bring with you a little chutzpa, because I think it does take a little bit of courage."

A new survey by the Consumer Reports National Research Center found that men were somewhat more likely to bargain than women: 64 percent versus 58 percent. "Although both genders were equally successful when they tried to negotiate, women tended to dislike the process more," Consumer Reports' survey said.

Americans are particularly hesitant to stand their ground, experts said.

"It's not part of the culture," said Gary L. Smith, a Delaware divorce attorney who has seen his share of haggling. "It's not like in foreign countries, where it's expected you haggle."

Smith said it's crucial to not show desperation and impatience in a negotiation.

"The more anxious you appear, the less you're going to get," he said "The less you're willing to wait, the less you're going to get."

And, in the end, be willing to walk out that door empty-handed.

"You can't be married to the product," said Steve Larrimore, a Delaware real estate agent and veteran haggler.

HOW DO I HAGGLE?

Some tips:

• Come prepared. Know about the product you want, who's offering it for less, why the store would be eager for a sale (end of sales period, etc.).

• Don't drool. Showing too much interest in an item spoils bargaining leverage.

• Be ready to walk. If you cannot walk away from their last offer, you'll never get your price.

• Be ready to return. If a seller thinks he may gain a steady customer, he may give ground.

• Show some emotion. A convincing "flinch" — acting shocked or outraged by an offer — can give you an edge.

• Know when to shut up. When you reject a counteroffer, don't sap its power by talking too much. Simply say, "You need to do better than that," then be quiet and wait.

• Don't be rude, show respect, be reasonable — and don't make a ridiculous low-ball offer at first. People want to help people they like, and who show them respect.

• Be ready to pay cash. Sometimes, the sight of green is all it takes.

• Have a small concession ready to give. If you concede some small thing at the end, you give your opponent a chance to "win" something.

WHAT CAN I HAGGLE FOR?

Bargaining can work in your favor when shopping for more than just homes and cars. Here are some examples:

• Services provided by any service-oriented business.

• Big-ticket electronics such as large-screen TVs, computers, appliance.

• Items in flea markets.

• Services provided by hospitals and doctor's offices.

• Hotel rooms (especially off-season).

• Car rentals.

Join our discussion: Do you haggle when shopping?