Jane Kinkel was emotionally drained and financially lost after her 48-year-old husband dropped dead of a heart attack while playing basketball at a family reunion in 2004.

She had little time to grieve, as she instantly became money manager and breadwinner for herself and two of her three children. Kinkel, of Indianola, Iowa, didn't have a job, hadn't run the household finances and was left without a nickel of life insurance.

Today, Kinkel has three part-time jobs and a fresh degree from Simpson College. She is weighing job opportunities in teaching. The 49-year-old isn't flush with cash, but thanks to a can-do spirit and a cousin who served as a financial coach, she's a lot savvier about managing her money.

Women of any age can be struck by the "four Ds" — divorce, desertion, death and disability, said Jean Lown, a professor of family finances at Utah State University.

"Women really need to understand finances, because we have an extremely high likelihood of being on our own," Lown said.

Kinkel didn't know much about her family's finances beyond agreeing with husband Phillip on how much she could spend on groceries every week. In the early days after his October 2004 death, she said she was afraid to fetch the mail to see which bill would be arriving.

To make matters worse, the youngest of her three children, high school student Jeff, was battling an autoimmune disorder. It was so severe he had to be home-schooled and was inside the house 300 days during 2004. Kinkel said she was so consumed with tending to Jeff that money management seemed an afterthought.

To get cash flowing, Kinkel landed three part-time jobs, in banking, retailing and child care. But she still needed an extreme money makeover, and luckily reconnected with a cousin who is a financial counselor.

The cousin, Melodie Whiton, who works for State Farm Insurance Cos., taught Kinkel about budgeting basics, pinching pennies and handling creditors.

"She showed me a lot of possibilities for living well on $12,000," Kinkel said.

Whiton also nominated Kinkel for State Farm's Embrace Life award. The national program recognizes women who have lost a spouse and yet persevered. In 2005, the insurer awarded Kinkel $10,000, which she used to pay bills.

"All of the sudden, things weren't quite as scary," she said.

Here are tips, from financial experts and women who have lost their husbands, to help a woman get up to speed on family finances before disaster strikes or adjust quickly in the aftermath: