Memo to the BlackBerry and laptop brigade: Think "you've" got it rough this plane awful summer of record passenger counts and rippling delays?

Try grappling with canceled flights, overflowing lavatories and serpentine security lines with a squirming toddler in tow.

"I'd rather be in a stagecoach crossing the Rocky Mountains, worrying about Indian attacks and other unknown dangers, than be a family in the aviation system today," declares Kevin Mitchell, father of one and chairman of the Business Travel Coalition, a group representing corporate travel buyers.

"Many of these people are once-a-year travelers who are clueless about what they're getting into," Mitchell says. And thanks to a combination of rising airline load factors, stressed-out employees and an antiquated air-traffic control system, "all of this is only going to get worse."

That would be bad news, indeed, for parents like Kate Penland.

The suburban Atlanta mother and her 19-month-old son, Garren, already were delayed more than 10 hours when they boarded — and were booted off — a Continental Express flight operated by ExpressJet in Houston last month. Penland, who told her story on local and national television this month, says she was kicked off when she refused a flight attendant's request to medicate her son with "baby Benadryl" to get him to stop saying, "Bye-bye, plane!"

ExpressJet says it's still investigating the incident, which has lit up the blogosphere with responses from sympathetic parents and irate business fliers, many calling for a segregated family section on airplanes.

MORE TURBULENCE

It's not the only high-profile example of turbulence in the skies and airports over the issue of family travel: This winter, after ejecting a 3-year-old and her parents from a flight when the child refused to sit still and buckle her seat belt, AirTran received about 14,000 calls and e-mail messages — the overwhelming majority supporting the airline's action.

Last month, a Washington, D.C., blog posted an account of a local woman who said she was mistreated by Transportation Security Administration officials when she spilled water from her toddler's sippy cup after being told she couldn't take the water through security at Washington's Reagan National airport. The TSA fought back, posting security video footage and an incident report on the "Myth Buster" section of its Web site, along with a challenge to "decide for yourself."

And this month, Delta came under fire when a 15-year-old and his 10-year-old sister, traveling alone, were stranded overnight after a missed connection at the Salt Lake City airport. The children's parents reportedly hadn't paid the extra "unaccompanied minor" fees that would have ensured supervision, and had booked a tight 28-minute connection late in the day.

This summer's crowded planes (a projected record 209 million U.S. passengers will fly between June and August) and frequent delays (tracking service www.FlightStats.com says more than 30 percent of the most popular U.S. airline flights arrived late in June, with an average delay of 62 minutes) make such horror stories more likely, Kate Penni says. The California real estate agent has been crusading for passenger rights since she and her family were trapped on a grounded American Airlines plane in Austin in December for nine hours.

"Delays are one thing, but I think fliers, especially those with kids, feel like they're up against the wall," says www.TakingtheKids.com columnist Eileen Ogintz, who recently found herself stranded for five hours on an Air France flight after her plane landed at JFK airport but couldn't get to a gate.

"There's really something different this summer. Not only can't you count on the airlines giving you anything to eat, but you can't count on a three-hour flight actually being a three-hour flight. It's a whole new paradigm."

SURVIVAL STRATEGIES

Given the increased likelihood that your family could be stranded during air travel, USA Today's Laura Bly canvassed experts and well-traveled parents for survival strategies:

-Travel early in the day. "Later flights get delayed due to summer thunderstorms, and the stress of the parents rubs off on the children, making them even crankier than usual and extending the kids' time out of their comfort zone," says Sally Rice, a Newark-based Continental Airlines flight attendant and mother of two.

- Fly nonstop — or book your connections wisely. It's a no-brainer that the shorter your travel time, the better. If a nonstop isn't possible, try to pick connections at smaller or less-congested airports. U.S. News & World Report's excellent Summer Air Travel Survival Guide ranks 47 large airports and 53 regional airports to determine which have the best and worst combination of delayed planes and crowded flights. The worst: Detroit. The best: Oakland.

- Know what you can — and can't — take on board. As an upset Washington, D.C., mother discovered at Reagan National Airport last month, navigating TSA rules isn't always easy: Because her toddler's sippy cup contained more than 3 ounces of water, she couldn't bring it past security. But according to the TSA website, passengers with a baby or toddler can bring aboard more than 3 ounces of juice, breast milk or formula — as long as they are "reasonable quantities for the duration of your itinerary."

- Buy your child his or her own seat, and bring your car seat. Though infants can fly free in your lap until they're 2, safety experts recommend otherwise. What's more, "most of the 1-year-old boys I've observed on planes are far too squirmy to sit happily on a lap in the close confines of an aircraft for a prolonged length of time," says Conde Nast Traveler's Wendy Perrin in a recent blog post. As an alternative for children 22 to 44 pounds, the new FAA-approved CARES child airplane harness (www.kidsflysafe.com) is "a huge benefit for parents and makes airport time much easier to manage," says Paula Shelton of www.FlyingWithKids.com.

- Prepare your children. Before you come to the airport (early, of course), "let them know it's against the law to make threats such as, 'I have a bomb in my bag.' Threats made jokingly (even by a child) can delay the entire family and could result in fines," the TSA Web site warns. Prepare to entertain your child in the security line, adds Taking the Kids columnist Ogintz. "Explain how she'll have to let security agents 'take a picture' of her blankie or favorite stuffed animal."

- Use the bathroom before you board. Remember the horror stories from last winter about planes spending hours on the tarmac? Well, aircraft bathrooms are usually off limits during such delays, U.S. News notes. Even if the plane takes off on time, it can take more than an hour from boarding to the captain's "free to move about the cabin" announcement.

- Anticipate ear problems, particularly while landing. To alleviate changes in air pressure, babies should nurse or suck on a bottle or pacifier. For older children, try gum or a lollipop; pressure-regulating ear plugs called EarPlanes also "work wonders," flight attendant Rice says.

- Carry on a well-stocked backpack with plenty of snacks, games, portable DVD player and extra batteries for the Game Boy. One of Rice's colleagues, then a mother of toddlers, bought enough toys at the local dollar store to have one per hour of flight. And when all else fails, "airsickness bags can make an on-the-spot hand puppet," www.TravelforKids.com suggests.

- DON'T give your kids Benadryl. The notion of using Benadryl to quiet a rambunctious child before a flight — as that flight attendant reportedly requested of that mother on a Continental ExpressJet flight this month — might sound tempting, but it's a bad idea. The antihistamine is known for its sedative effect on adults, but it can have the opposite reaction in children.

"It happens more times than you think," says Karalee Kulek-Luzey, a Tampa, Fla., pediatrician. "They get hyperactive or act out of character — angry or whiny."

It's OK to give Tylenol or Motrin to a child who is likely to experience ear pain from in-flight pressure changes, she adds, but it's best to pack appropriate food and drink and hope for the best.

- Plan for the worst. "If you think you will need three diapers to get you to your destination, bring six. Bring any medications you think you will need if your children become ill. And bring a change of clothing for the children," says frequent traveler Amy Baker, of Katonah, N.Y. (For more of Baker's tips, and to read her horror story about being stranded with her two sons after last summer's thwarted terrorist plot at London's Heathrow Airport, visit www.travel.usatoday.com.)

- Consider shipping luggage and gear ahead — or renting it. When www.FlightStats.com's Meara McLaughlin invited her sister and her seven children for a visit, her sister's flight was canceled — but she could make a last-minute switch because she had shipped clothes and gear ahead by bulk mail. Not that organized? Services such as www.BabiesTravelLite.com will deliver anything you could possibly need to a hotel or grandma's house.

- Research your options. If your flight is delayed or canceled, avoid long lines at the airport by using your cell phone and other mobile technology to line up alternative flights and hotels.

- Keep smiling. "If you go into summer travel with the right attitude and right preparation, you can survive almost anything," www.TravelWithYourKids.com's Erik Budde says. "Would Dora the Explorer flip out if her connection at O'Hare was two hours late? No. She makes an adventure of it."