Although it feels as though my husband and I just recently tied the knot, we celebrated our fifth anniversary in June. While reminiscing, we wondered what advice other couples who have been joined in matrimony longer than us would provide on achieving a joyful and indissoluble marriage.

The survey I subsequently conducted may have been non-randomized and nonscientific, yet the responses were heartfelt:

Always seek to communicate and listen to each other; accept the other person's strengths and weaknesses.

— J & R, married 10 years

One of the keys to a great marriage is humility, which allows me to see that I am not perfect and so cannot expect that from a spouse. Therefore we can accept them for who they are. Humility allows me to see that my spouse is a precious gift. It allows me to admit the error of my ways, be swift to repent, and always ask for forgiveness; to seek to serve rather than be served.

— Anonymous, married 10 years

1. Make a covenant to stick it out.

2. Be committed to going on dates regularly.

3. Focus on your spouse's positive traits.

4. Establish parenting rules with each other. Work together as a team as you train up your children. Recognize that your children need both of you.

5. Spend time together, and do fun things as a family.

— W & H, married 16 years

Listen to each other, especially when you don't agree; keep short accounts, especially about things that bug you; and be intentional about spending time with each other so that you can talk often and about everything. A dozen roses, a special home-cooked meal and praying together also help a lot.

— B & J, married 36 years

Do not focus only on your own needs but also on the needs of your spouse. Share frequently with each other about your feelings. Always discuss any major decisions thoroughly with each other and value each other's opinions even when you disagree.

— C & A, married 40 years

1. Mutual respect: Never put your spouse down in front of others. Never insist on getting your own way when there is a difference of opinion.

2. Similar lifestyle: If you eat together, share the same bed, go to sleep and get up at the same time, you will have better communication.

3. Faith: If you share the same faith, you will share the same life purpose.

4. Attitude: Practice sacrificial love toward each other and your respective families.

— W & S, married 43 years

1. Treat each other as you would treat your good friends, which means having private time together on a regular basis, and giving each other enough space in the house to unwind alone.

2. Take time frequently to pray together, which goes along with open communication.

3. Don't offer too much advice unless it is requested of you. (Don't you think that's enough advice?)

— W & M, married 46 years

Point 3 from W & M above is well taken. In conclusion, succinct but memorable counsel from the couple who has been married the longest:

Never stop laughing.

— F & J, married 56 years

Monica Quock Chan is a freelance writer who lives in Honolulu with her husband and daughter.

Reach Monica Quock Chan at (Unknown address).