Q. Lately I've had to work with a person who is very particular. This person must have everything just so and if it isn't there is always a nasty e-mail sitting in my inbox. Sometimes the problem is my fault but most times it is no one's fault. So far I've let cooler heads prevail, however I'm coming to a point where I'm going to have to say something. What can I do to handle this difficult individual?

A. It seems like every office has a person just like you have described. Here are a few ideas that will help you deal with this difficult co-worker.

1. Think about it. First, give the person the benefit of the doubt. E-mail is a very impersonal mode of communication; sometimes people can seem cold or abrupt when they really don't mean to be.

2. Write it down. Write a note saying what is on your mind. Take accountability for your statements by using "I." "I'm upset because ... " Then don't send it.

3. Ask for input. Run the situation by someone impartial and ask for an honest point of view. Look for someone who has worked with this individual in the past and see what methods they used to deal with this person.

4. Sleep on it. Review your notes or e-mail in the morning, and decide if the situation is worth the energy or if it is something to let go.

5. Pick your battles. Either let it go or address it. When addressing the situation, be prepared with the facts, speak softly, begin with the positive, use warm body language and interject some humor if appropriate.