NEW YORK — Maybe you've already had the birds and the bees chat with your 10-year-old.

Now it's time to have the "Zoey 101" chat.

But how exactly do you tell young fans of charming Zoey and her boarding-school pals that the show's perfect star, Jamie Lynn Spears, is pregnant at age 16?

"It's very disappointing but face it, the bubble is burst," said Dr. Judy Kuriansky, a clinical psychologist on the faculty of Columbia University Teachers College. "Thank you, Jamie Lynn, you have ruined the innocence of lots of kids and mothers who would rather not talk about this."

But, Kuriansky stressed, "if you don't talk about it, you're in even worse shape."

Other experts agreed, saying that it's a classic teachable moment and a chance for parents to communicate their values.

"These parents who say, 'I'm going to shield my children,' are dreaming," said Liz Perle, editor-in-chief of Common Sense Media, a nonpartisan organization that describes its mission as "improving the media lives of kids and families."

"Media is everywhere and it is a super-peer; it's raising your kids as much as you are," Perle said. "It normalizes situations like this and makes it acceptable. ... Our children are introduced to things way too early, but it's up to us as parents to seize hold of the situation. You have to, as parents, make sure you're in the conversation. You have to talk to your kids and have a discussion about your values."

Messages posted on various Web sites suggested that real-life moms were upset and disappointed.

"I hope Nickelodeon pulls 'Zoey 101' from the air immediately," wrote one mom on an www.MTV.com chat board. "I will not let my children watch the show any longer."

"I was just watching 'Zoey 101' the other day with my 11-year-old daughter and I commented something like, 'I bet Jamie Lynn's going to become bigger than Britney ... she seems like the smart, stable one,' " wrote Lizbeth Finn-Arnold on her "MOM & Pop Culture" blog at www.travelswithlizbeth.typepad.com.

"Boy," she added, "was I wrong."

Perle says that talking to kids about the disconnect between Zoey's wholesome image on the show and Spears' real-world predicament can be "the beginning of media literacy. This is a chance to explain that there is a difference between the character and the person. ... Kids need to understand that these are actors playing characters. The characters are not real people. But there are real people behind them who make mistakes."

Kuriansky said parents can start by asking what kids have heard and what they already know. "From those questions you're able to make decision about what to say. Give them facts. Then say what your opinion is, and tell them that you want them to come and talk to you about any questions or thoughts."

Perle added that with older kids, you might emphasize that "the sex they see on TV is not consequence-free in real life. You see very little birth control or safe sex on TV."

Richard Eyre, co-author with Linda Eyre of the book "How to Talk to Your Child About Sex," advocates telling kids about sex when they're 8. Talking about sex before adolescence is ideal, he added, because "they're going to listen to you and pay attention and understand it."

"Once you've had this early pre-emptive talk with kids, then when something like this happens, you're ready," he said. "You can say, 'We watch her on TV. What do you think about what happened to her in real life?' "

As for parents who worry that the discussion might shatter a child's innocence, he said, "I would much rather have me be the one with a dialogue I know is tested and works, and with my own attitudes prevailing, than have someone else tell them."

Join the discussion: Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant.