When the bar Madeline Murphy worked at in Santa Cruz, Calif., got a face-lift in 1989, it got a new bartender, too.

And Murphy wasn't impressed with either.

"She hated the remodel — and she really didn't like me," said Joe Lopez, now 43, of Kailua, with a laugh. "I was too loud and fun."

Lopez was attracted to Murphy, but he had a strict rule: No dating cocktail waitresses or co-workers. Murphy was both.

Within a few months of working together, the two became friends, hanging out after work and hitting the gym.

Then, in early 1990, they went on a camping trip to Big Sur with their co-workers — and wound up kissing.

"That's when things started to change," Lopez recalled.

He liked Murphy's no-nonsense approach to life so much he broke his own dating rule.

"There was no drama with her," Lopez said. "She's so blatantly honest, it's amazing."

When they weren't working, they'd go hiking, camping and surfing together. Sometimes they'd ride his motorcycle to Boulder Creek or dive for abalone. After just three weeks of dating, the pair decided to move in together.

"When it's right, it just clicks, Lopez said.

The transition, at first, wasn't the smoothest. Murphy likes her living space well-kept and organized; Lopez could leave coffee grounds out and it wouldn't bother him.

And they had another niggling problem: They still worked together.

"For six to eight months, no one (at the bar) knew we were dating," Lopez said.

By early 1991, they moved into a house near the beach and bought a partnership in another bar in Santa Cruz.

To be able to afford this new financial endeavor, Lopez got a job as a bartender in San Jose. He commuted nearly every day down Highway 17 on his motorcycle, working from 6 p.m. to 4 a.m. He did that for a year.

In the meantime, Murphy worked at Callahan's, the bar they now partly owned.

By 1992, the couple made two huge decisions: to sell their share in the bar and to get hitched.

"It was the first relationship that wasn't a lot of work to me," Lopez said. "It just fit like a glove. It was just comfortable. It felt like we had been together for years."

On Aug. 1, 1992, Murphy and Lopez exchanged vows at Natural Bridges State Beach in Santa Cruz. After the wedding, they took three months off and traveled the world. They vacationed at Lake Tahoe, in Cabo San Lucas and Costa Rica with the thought of eventually moving to one of these exotic locations.

But then a friend of theirs announced he was moving to Hawai'i and urged them to come, too.

"We thought we'd try it for six months," Lopez said.

They moved from Santa Cruz to Waikiki with two duffel bags and a footlocker. They settled for used furniture and slept on an inflatable mattress.

Without a car, they both got jobs in Waikiki — Murphy at the Shore Bird Oceanside Bar & Grill, Lopez at Red Lion — and walked everywhere.

"We had a ball," Lopez said. "It was so much fun."

But after touring the island, they decided they wanted to move out of Waikiki and into Kailua.

"It was our dream," Lopez said. "We used to come over here and walk the streets and dream of buying a home."

In 1995, Lopez learned about a new franchise called ITEX Corp., a Washington-based bartering group.

"I was tired of retail and dealing with mobs of employees," Lopez said.

He decided to try it out.

While he built the franchise, he continued to work as a bartender in Waikiki. It took him two years before he could focus on ITEX full time. In the meantime, Murphy ditched the bar business and started working for a printing company.

In 2000, Murphy and Lopez finally realized their dream: They bought a house in Kailua.

And a few years later, they began working together from home.

"The best part is the time," Lopez said. "I manage my own time. I work long hours, but I don't work hard."

They may be opposites — Murphy, now 39, paddles and does yoga; Lopez teaches dog-obedience classes and rides his Harley — but it somehow works.

Tuesday will mark the couple's 14th wedding anniversary.

"Our life is so good," Lopez said. "She's my best friend and the best part of my life. I can't imagine my life without her."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.