Next time I go on a group tour, it will be as a passenger, not a guide. Here's what my turn as a crew member taught me about being a better customer:

1. Don't hog the front seats. Your fellow travelers will quietly hate you if you're one of those selfish spoilsports who gulp breakfast so you can grab the shotgun rows.

2. Don't be late. Everyone can oversleep once, especially in a new time zone. But you should hear what they say about you if they have to wait twice.

3. Don't complain about things the guide can't fix. A few: the weather, the exchange rate, the insistence of foreign countries to use currencies other than the dollar, the number of tourists who want to visit the same places you do.

4. Do complain about things s/he can fix. The guide I worked for liked doing battle on behalf of her guests over balky air conditioners, underdone steaks and noisy rooms.

5. Don't steal the bananas. Each morning, I searched for a banana for my cereal, and each day, nothing. Finally, I complained and learned that hotels hide unpeeled fruits from bus groups because they get stolen for lunches! Don't strip the buffet to save yourself a few euros and maybe they'll give us our bananas back.