Single and dating in the new year? Here are my top 10 tips for finding the love of your life in the new year.

1. Lose the losers. How sad would it be to have the love of your life come along and miss it because you are caught up with some loser? So don't keep someone around that you know is not right for you just to have someone around.

2. Available? Great. Are you ready? If you've ditched the losers, then you are available. But are you ready? Ready means there is room in your life for a relationship — physically, emotionally, financially, spiritually.

3. Create your top five requirements. A requirement is a "gotta have." It's non-negotiable. A relationship will not work if a requirement is missing. What are your non-negotiable must haves?

4. Create your top five needs. A need must be met for you to be happy in the relationship. Needs are different from requirements in that needs can be negotiated as to time, place, when, where, how, how often, etc. When a need is not met it raises an issue that needs to be resolved.

5. Create your top five wants. A need is the icing on the cake. It would be nice to have all your wants, but it is not necessary. It would be great for someone I am with to like smooth jazz, but it's not something I "gotta have" in order to be happy.

These three components — requirements, needs and wants — are important to know because they make up a significant part of your relationship map and plan.

6. Scout. Sort. Screen. Test. Scouting is keeping your eyes open for potential partners. Sorting is choosing from the prospects after you decide which ones are suitable to pursue further. Screening is checking to see if a person meets your requirements, needs and wants. Testing is seeing, through real-life experiences, whether this person is the right one for you.

7. Don't be a Lone Ranger. Build a community and support group of like-minded people who support you in your quest to find the love of your life. They may know someone whom you could never meet in any other way.

8. Work your plan. List your requirements, needs and wants, scout, sort, screen and test — then pursue what is right for you and leave alone what is not. Don't settle!

9. Attitude is all. Your attitude determines your outcome. If you go out there with the attitude that all the good ones already are taken, that is what you will find. If you go out there with the attitude that it only takes one and you are going to find that one, then that is what you will find as well.

10. Exercise your choice muscles. We all have the power of choice. Don't just settle for the first person who likes you back. Don't pursue relationships that are not right for you. Rather, choose relationships that are right for you.

Jeff Herring is a marriage and family therapist. Find more tips and tools for living at www.jeffherringonline.com.