As a Walnut Creek, Calif., barista, Remy Rodriguez has heard it all — literally. Oftentimes, she's listened to a customer's life story in the time it takes to make his latte and ring him up. And, if she says "How are you?" instead of "Good afternoon," she's in real trouble.

"The other day, this guy replied, 'Good. I just got my ears drained so I can hear again,' " says Rodriguez. "Uh, didn't need to know that."

Well, he shared it anyway. A lot of people do. Cursed with a lack of boundaries, they relay too much information — more than you ever wanted to know — about themselves, their emotional problems or even their bowel regularity.

Unless you're a close friend of the chatterbox, TMI is usually awkward and unwelcome. "If your friend tells you an intimate detail, it's OK, you know him," says Amy Alkon, a nationally syndicated advice columnist. "But if a stranger reveals something to you, you think there's something wrong with them."

Not wrong in the psychological sense. Well, maybe sometimes. We'll get to that soon.

Cassandra Hutchinson, who also works in the services sector, recalls a TMI experience that was inappropriate, to say the least.

"In the same breath, this woman told me she had just gotten her paycheck, written her bills and was in line at the post office, when she saw a cute, older man and wanted to 'jump his bones,' " says Hutchinson.

Frequently, TMI involves heavy personal problems. Michaela Baltasar of San Francisco, who works in public relations, experienced several such incidents with a former co-worker. At her old job, she would always approach this person with caution.

"She'd talk about her awful divorce and her kids on drugs and all I had said was, 'How are you?' " recalls Baltasar.

Alkon calls these people verbal litterbugs.

"Too many people spew their stuff on others to deal with their own problems," she says. "They bring in a dump truck and let it rip on the other person. It's like asking someone you just met to take out the trash for you. It really scares people and puts people off."

It's ironic, then, that people who don't have boundaries end up infringing upon the boundaries of others.

"If you're the recipient (of too much information) you can definitely feel your boundaries being violated," says Debbie Katz, a marriage and family therapist. "It's not information you don't want to know at some point, but it might be too soon. It's sort of a big pink flag."

So where do boundaries come from, and why do some people lack them?

"It's a big question," Katz says. "It has to do with how you grew up. If you had someone who dumped on you growing up, you may get it from them. You're just not genetically programmed to pick up on good social cues, and you're vulnerable to looking for someone who will listen to you."

If it's just overshare — like the lady who tells you the origin of her purse instead of just thanking you for the compliment — boundaries aren't really an issue. But if it's hard-core TMI, you may need to deal with it, Katz says.

"It's tricky for the recipient when you're trying to be a nice person," she says "There's no reason to be hurtful. If you can do it kindly and firmly, then get yourself out of there as soon as you can. Explain that you've got a lot going on and that the Safeway ... may not be the best place to have the conversation."

If the person seems truly troubled, you might suggest he look into therapy. Either he'll ask you for the name of a good therapist, Katz points out, or stop talking to you about it.

If all else fails, try Alkon's approach. "Tell them you're not a giant ear," she says.

But don't forget that sometimes TMI can work in your favor. When interviewing for a job, the company's CEO asked Baltasar what she considered the funniest thing in the world. She thought about it for a while before answering: "Poo," she told him. "I love potty jokes."

Baltasar proceeded to share a story involving said "poo" and a spell check-like database that rejected the word, and all the funny alternatives it provided.

"It was a risk," Baltasar says, recalling the incident. "He could've thought I was an idiot, but he thought it was funny and started laughing."

And she landed the job.