Q. Our 28-month-old recently started waking three or four times a night and coming into our room crying. We respond by telling her it's still night time and walking her back to her bed. She immediately goes back to bed and back to sleep. Sometimes all we have to do is tell her to go back to bed and she will put herself back to sleep. We are having difficulty knowing the motivation behind this behavior since she doesn't want us to lay down with her nor is she angling to get into our bed. Can you help us understand this and deal with it more effectively?

A. Stop trying to figure out why your daughter has developed this nocturnal habit. The attempt to divine motivation behind a child's behavior is what I call "psychological thinking" — a mental process that causes parental confusion and insecurity.

Psychological thinking also paralyzes the ability to act with authority.

Your daughter's sleep patterns are changing. She wakes up in the night, and needs to be assured that the two of you are still there. So, she comes into your room. That's just the way it is.

When your daughter comes into your room, you respond authoritatively by either taking her or directing her back to her room. You must be doing so calmly and confidently because she accepts your direction and goes back to sleep, until next time.

Personally, I'd be content with this, knowing that this is just a bump in the road that will resolve itself in fairly short order, but if you don't already have one, buy a gate that you can easily install in her doorway. Show her the gate, and tell her that when she wakes up and gets out of bed, the gate means she is supposed to get back into bed and go back to sleep. Tell her this several times during the day and again when you put her to bed. Strengthen the new program by holding several pretend practice sessions during the day.

In the final analysis, her night wanderings will stop.

Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents' questions and includes his speaking schedule on his Web site at www.rosemond.com.