Dave Shoji for Governor!

Hey, why not? Hawai'i Democrats are desperately casting about for a name with enough mana to hold up their end of the ticket next year. Why not go straight for the trump card?

You can almost imagine the pau hana table at the back of Columbia Inn ... no wait, that's been gone since before the last election. Wisteria ... no, that's gone too. Where do they meet these days? Gyotaku, probably.

So they're at Gyotaku shuffling through business cards and scrolling through Blackberries trying to come up with names.

Harry Kim. He's good at the natural disaster thing, but too much of a small-town lone-wolf sheriff to play the game we need him for. Walter Dods! Nah, too smart to spoil his retirement with a thankless job. Eric Shinseki! Boy, he'd hate having to deal with unions. They won't salute. Lee Donohue! In a debate against the Toastmaster, he'd be toast.

Funny that among the names being run up the flagpole, there aren't many career politicians.

Anybody with aspirations threw their name in the ring to succeed Patsy Mink in Congress. Ed Case handed their egos back to them on a plate. Colleen Hanabusa hasn't been the same since. She's doing a radio show with Sam Slom now.

The focus instead is on popular local leaders, of which there are so few.

Hey, what about David McClain? People seem to like him. Oh, but if his name gets mentioned, it's like invoking the ghost of Evan Dobelle. Bad juju.

Pat Hamamoto? She delivered the most pistol-packing "let me do my job" speech Lingle has faced so far, but Hamamoto's current job is much harder than the governor's, and she has many rivers to cross.

Who else has name recognition in Hawai'i? Does anybody know The Rock's manager? What's Lokelani Lindsey doing? Hey, people loved Jasmine Trias so much they voted more than once.

Not too long ago, there were cries of "June Jones for Governor." There was something of a movement. But that faded the more we got to see June Jones in action and realized, hey, he kind of IS like a politician already. In a bad way.

Oh, but Shoji, he has it all. He has popularity. He has longevity. He's not intimidated by tall women. He's a genial guy until that cord in his neck starts popping and then watch out! He could be a cross between George Ariyoshi's calm and Ben Cayetano's bite. In a good way.

But the best thing about floating Dave Shoji's name is that, unlike the other unlikely candidates, Shoji would never take it seriously.

Layton Aliviado for LG!

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.