The state Department of Commerce and Consumer Affairs is going heavy with the public service announcements about identity theft. You've seen the commercials with auntie on the phone, being asked to give out her Social Security number. Don't do it, auntie! Don't do it!

There is also a Web site (hawaii.gov/dcca) where you can find tips on keeping your personal information, including your Social Security number, bank account numbers and PINs from being stolen.

Here's the one tip that isn't spelled out in black and white — no need be nice.

That's a hard one for local people and particularly for local women and especially for any woman who embraces the sweet auntie role. Someone asks her a question, she feels obligated to answer. Even more, she feels obligated to answer truthfully. If she notices someone acting shady, she will talk herself out of her suspicion because it's not polite to mistrust or cast aspersions.

But if safety is the primary concern, for auntie or for anyone, we can't rely on the default setting of "nice." Being polite can be a weakness, one that thieves spot right away.

Oprah Winfrey summed it up perfectly when she offered up the self-defense mantra: "My safety over your feelings." She was talking specifically about being a woman alone in an elevator when a sketchy dude gets on and your radar goes ping! She talked about how women will ignore their gut reaction, not wanting to insult sketchy dude's feelings. Never mind if the guy is insulted by your actions, she said. Never mind if he's actually the nicest guy in the world. If you don't feel safe, get off the elevator. Your safety over his feelings.

Same thing with ID theft. You don't have to answer questions just because somebody asks. That's for when you're in kindergarten or in a deposition or applying for a bank loan.

There are signs that the awareness campaign is working. During the recent Kokua for Katrina local telethon, celebrity newscasters were pleading with callers to go ahead and trust them with credit card information. It's for a good cause! We know we've been telling you not to give out your credit card number on the phone, but go ahead and do it this time!

Eh, right on, auntie, for being wary. You go ahead and ask questions, even if they say it's for a good cause. Especially if they say it's for a good cause.

You cannot be like the neighborhood doggy who loves every stranger that happens by. You have to be the rottweiler with the mean stare and low growl that makes folks step away from the fence. Being nice is for the people you know, the people who have won your trust, not for strangers trying to climb your fence and get into your yard.

Be the rottweiler, auntie.

Grrrrrrr!

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.