For Susan Kallstrom, marriage wasn't made in heaven but in the Baltimore office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Still, the first day she showed up to work wearing her engagement ring, she also carried her letter of resignation.

"Back then it was just understood that one of us would have to leave, and he obviously had the more important job," said Kallstrom, whose husband, James — a former New York City FBI chief — handles security for the city's Freedom Tower, to be built at the former World Trade Center site.

Kallstrom laughs at what seems an employment practice from the Dark Ages, but nepotism policies — including no-spouse provisions — are alive and well.

As more people meet at the office and marry, employers find they must navigate practical and legal issues involving married co-workers, said Eric Matusewitch, deputy director of the New York City Equal Employment Practices Commission and author of "Manager's Handbook on Employment Discrimination Law."

"The employer acts as a natural cupid," he said. "People seem to be working longer hours, and the workplace is a natural meeting place for people of similar backgrounds, attitudes, education and accomplishments."

Nearly one-third of people questioned in a workplace-dating survey in 2003 reported dating a co-worker, according to the American Management Association. Of the group that dated a colleague, more than two-thirds of those surveyed said it turned into a long-term relationship. Forty-four percent said the romance led to marriage.

"Employers need to step up and recognize that the office place is the new disco," said John A. Challenger, chief executive of Challenger, Gray & Christmas outplacement firm in Chicago. "You need to work out the ground rules."

Indeed, a substantial number of employers in the public and private sectors have written or unwritten policies involving spouses, which may fall under broader nepotism rules, Matusewitch said.

"There should be no confusion around the issue," said Joan H. Sullivan, senior vice president at WSFS Bank in Wilmington, Del. "Policies should be clear and communicated."

Married co-workers can create a variety of situations for employers. Some may be practical and involve real business concerns, such as scheduling vacations for a couple working in the same area.

"Vacations would kill me if two people were on vacation at the same time," Barry Schlecker, president of The Network Group, a Wilmington headhunting firm.

Some employers worry that married couples will bring domestic issues into the job, including marital conflict.

Other concerns may be more serious and have legal ramifications. One situation that could arise would be the need to fire one of the spouses.

"Chances are you end up losing two when you fire one," Schlecker said.

Another problem involves conflicts of interest or the appearance of a conflict. Nepotism policies sometimes forbid another spouse from making recommendations regarding raises or promotions.

At WSFS Bank, for example, a wife would not be permitted to approve the expense vouchers of her husband, Sullivan said. Neither would a spouse be able to hire an independent contractor who is a spouse, Sullivan said.

Frances Ciemania of Stanton worked for WSFS in maintenance as an independent contractor. His late wife, Betty, was a branch manager in the Little Italy neighborhood of Wilmington. Although Ciemania was hired by another bank supervisor, he kept his distance when he went into his wife's branch.

"I'd go in, say 'hello,' do what I had to do and leave," Ciemania said.

On the up side, married couples often are more loyal to their company, said John D. Wik, who led WIK Associates Inc. in New Castle, an environmental consulting company purchased by BrightFields Inc. in 2003.

They also can support each other better because they know the intricacies of the business and the industry.

"They probably spend more time working on issues or problem-solving than they would if they worked in different places," Wik said.