It only took one question to make Brant Kananen realize Ellen Kirby was more than just a pretty redhead.

They met at a football game party at the Wahiawa house Kananen shared with roommates in January 2003. Kirby quickly noticed the tall Army officer and maneuvered her way next to him.

"I know a good-looking guy when I see one," said Kirby, smiling.

They immediately hit it off. And within a few minutes of talking, Kirby asked a very important question to her: "So, what church do you go to?"

"That's not the normal question," said Kananen, a company commander in the 1-25th Aviation Brigade at Wheeler Army Airfield. "It hooked my interest. It took an awful lot of confidence and conviction to ask a person that after they've just met."

They soon discovered they shared a common value: their faith.

Kirby asked Kananen to walk her to her car. He asked for her phone number. And that week they started dating.

But during the first few months, they didn't see much of each other. Kananen spent weeks training off-island or deployed to other bases, including a six-week stint in Thailand. So the time they did spend together became very special.

Even with the long stretches apart, Kananen knew, by the second date, he could spend the rest of his life with Kirby.

"I knew when she became more important than I was, that her happiness was more important than my own," Kananen said.

Within six months he decided he would propose by the end of the year.

But that October, he got an unexpected change in plans: his brigade got orders to deploy to Iraq in January.

So that Thanksgiving, on a trip to meet Kirby's family in Virginia, Kananen took her sisters to pick out a ring. When the couple returned to Hawai'i, he was ready to propose. He just didn't know how.

Kirby had been bugging Kananen to walk with her around her neighborhood in Kapolei to look at Christmas lights. Since he lived in Wahiawa and worked early in the morning, it wasn't always practical.

But one night he called her, asking if they could walk around to see the lights. Perplexed but excited, she agreed.

Kananen arrived at her door dressed in slacks, a dress shirt and shoes. It was odd, but Kirby thought nothing of it.

During their evening walk, they talked about his upcoming deployment to Iraq and how that would affect their relationship. It wasn't an unusual conversation; they had talked about this for weeks.

Except this time Kananen had something else to ask.

When they got back to her home, they went into her backyard to sit under the stars.

"He spent a lot of time comforting me," Kirby said. "You know, not everybody comes back. I had a lot of anxiety about the man I love going to Iraq for a long time."

But Kananen reassured her that he loved her and would return to the Islands to be with her. Nothing would change, especially his feelings.

Then he pulled her on his lap and slid the ring on her finger. "Will you marry me?" he asked.

The proposal took Kirby completely off-guard.

"I knew we would date when he got back," she said, laughing, "not walking down the aisle ... I said yes 8,000 times."

Kananen left for Iraq in January 2004. During his deployment they would send e-mail and write letters. Every so often he was able to call her. (He bought her a cell phone specifically for this purpose.) In the meantime, Kirby started planning their wedding.

"It was really lonely," Kirby said. "I would spend a lot of time thinking about not just the times we shared but the things we talked about, the values we shared ... I knew we would be together no matter what."

She never worried about Kananen's feelings for her, or that they would change after a year apart.

"Every girl probably wants that added reassurance," she said, "but knowing his character, when he said he wanted to marry me, I knew he was done shopping."

The couple reunited in February 2005 with plans to wed the next month. Though Kirby had done most of the planning, she did save some responsibilities for him, to make him part of the wedding plans — such as picking the cake.

They exchanged vows on March 26 at Ha'iku Gardens in front of 70 friends and family. The next day they jetted off to Australia for 10 days of sight-seeing and relaxation.

When they returned from the honeymoon, Kananen moved into Kirby's home in Kapolei. Though they still go out on dates to dinners and movies, they're enjoying just spending time together as a married couple. They cook, read the Bible and pray together.

"We're learning to live and be together," Kirby said. "The only difference is that he doesn't go home at the end of the night. I get to live with my best friend."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.