You can't sign on to your e-mail account, sit through the evening news or answer your dinnertime phone calls without somebody asking your opinion about something, usually something you can't change and won't feel.

What do you think about Michelle Wie? Has she paid her dues? Are her parents pushing her too hard? Is it right for kids to make so much money?

Doesn't matter if you don't know her and don't know golf. Doesn't matter if you don't know much and care even less, what do you think?

How's Bush doing with Katrina? Is he right? Is he wrong? Is the relief effort too much, too little, too late?

Hey, doesn't matter if you've never been to New Orleans, never voted in an election, never lived through a storm, never read a single news story that came out of the situation ...

WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

It used to be an embarrassment to express an opinion that wasn't based on knowledge. It used to be shameful to speak up on a matter that you could not affect and did not affect you. It used to be rude not to mind your own business.

Now, we are routinely encouraged, even solicited, to mind other people's business.

Vote singers off the stage, vote people off the island. Doesn't matter if we don't know the people and don't live on that island. Choose a favorite. Pick a loser. Have a say.

We can't change much about the people who live on OUR island. Might as well play the game and pretend we're in charge.

It's the morphine button for the masses, like that little hookup they give you in the hospital. Push the button to administer your own pain meds. You're in control. Of course, you're not in control. There's no way you can take too much and if you take too little, someone comes around and pushes it for you to make you quiet down and rest.

It's the illusion of control, the impression that we're active participants.

If we get to weigh in on Michelle Wie's career move, we get to bump up to her talent.

If we can thumbs-up, thumbs-down the hurricane relief effort, maybe we can pretend we'd be in control of our recovery should the big one hit here.

If we can opine on stuff that isn't ours to fix, maybe we don't have to face the hard work of fixing our own kuleana.

One of those lessons to be learned over and over is how to figure out what is your business and what is not.

Opinion does hold weight when it comes from informed stakeholders. Otherwise, it's worse than meaningless, it's sedating.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.