I got a letter from my physician last week, notifying me that he would be retiring in November. He said that he had some family matters to attend to and that he and his wife would be leaving the island soon.

"He can't retire yet." I said aloud, somewhat selfishly. "We still have work to do."

I grabbed a notepad and scribbled the heading: "Things I need to get done before my doctor retires." Not very creative, I know, but it was straight to the point.

The first seven items from my list:

1. X-ray right hand: I've been experiencing pain in my right hand for the past three years. Interestingly, that is about the time I took up golf.

2. Upper G.I.: I have really bad heartburn. I start to feel icky every time I eat pepperoni pizza and stuffed jalapenos. If I guzzle a beer or two, it gets worse.

3. Remove wax from ears: I really should be cleaning those puppies out every six months, but it has been nearly two years since the last dredging. I bet you I could grow a tomato plant at this point.

4. Remove unsightly skin tags: These are those little bundles of skin that show up in the oddest places, like your eyelid. They are actually benign; they just look weird, kind of like lizard brains.

5. Remove cyst: Just above my right ear, I have a cyst about the size of a dime. I would like to lance it myself, but my wife is afraid that I will cut off my ear.

6. Back exam: Lately, I've been waking up with back fatigue. I have been worried that I may have a slipped disk or something. More likely, I need a new bed. It is about 15 years old and sags on my side. It is like sleeping on the side of a hill.

7. Prostate exam: Call me romantic, but I just made 40 and for my first exam, I know there is only one man for the job.

By the time I finished, my list was 28 items deep and would require several years to complete. It did not take me long to realize that I was a sick man. The truth is I was sad; I like my doctor and I did not want to see him go.

My doc is a no-nonsense kind of guy who really listens to his patients. When I was hospitalized a few years ago, he was as cool as the other side of the sheet. I was convinced I was going to die, but he knew better. He said that I would weather that storm and I believed him. It is hard to overestimate the power of faith.

Yes, I am going to miss my doc. He is a part of my family whether he likes it or not.

He may not be related by blood, but he has seen enough of my body fluids to fully qualify.

He has seen me through my darkest hours and laughed with me when I came out the other side. And that is what family is all about, being there for each other when the going gets tough. He's been there for me and it's my turn to be there for him. I will see him for the last time next Thursday.

I've whittled down my list to just two items; I need to thank him and say goodbye.

Michael C. DeMattos is on faculty at the University of Hawai'i School of Social Work. He lives in Kane'ohe with his wife, daughter and two dogs.