Don't despise those still struggling to rise from poverty
By Michelle Singletary
I wonder at this time of year, when it's so obvious that many of us have so much, do we really appreciate the plight of those who have so little?
I pose the question because for weeks now, I've been thinking about the dozens of letters I received following a column in which I recommended the book, "Is Bill Cosby Right? Or Has the Black Middle Class Lost Its Mind?" by Michael Eric Dyson.
Dyson was responding to comments made by comedian Bill Cosby during a ceremony last year commemorating the 50th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision that ended segregation in the public schools.
Cosby launched into a rant against lower- and lower-middle-class blacks, who he feels are largely responsible for their economic condition. Dyson criticized Cosby for his lack of empathy for the poor and ignoring sociological, political and economic factors that keep those in poverty from achieving more.
The majority of people who wrote to me said the poor get what they deserve. What they said disheartened me:
Often people defended their tirade against the underprivileged by recounting how, through their own fortitude, had overcome poverty. Good for those who have overcome a poor background. But that doesn't give them the right to despise others who haven't.
I hate the expression "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" because no one gets where they are in life without some help or guidance.
I grew up in a low-income environment. But I didn't get out of it just on my own accord.
First and foremost, I was fortunate enough to end up living with my grandmother. Then I developed juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I lost the use of my legs and was hospitalized for several months. A nurse and my physical therapist became my mentors and godmothers.
My grandmother taught me to be frugal. But Big Mama wasn't much help when it came to applying to college. I got that push from my high school counselor who hounded me until I applied for a scholarship. I didn't want to apply because I didn't believe in myself. But she did.
What so many people who wrote to me failed to see is that they too probably were helped by somebody who cared — who empathized with them. What if Big Mama hadn't taken me in? What if my counselor hadn't made me apply for that scholarship?
Those who have succeeded often don't have sympathy for the poor because they focus on the fact that they've "made" it. But they aren't truthful about how. It is like adults who are enraged at teenagers for being immature, as if they themselves were born mature.
Certainly, we should not absolve folks of their personal responsibility. The poor have to handle their money better. They do have to make better choices.
But who in their right mind would choose to be poor? The poor do pay dearly for their poor choices.
Show some mercy for the poor this holiday season, and all year long for that matter. They deserve our compassion, not our hatred.
