Aloha Advice Diva:

What do you think of women who treat other women really bad, downright mean in fact, for no other reason other than the way they look. I live in Hawai'i where many races come together and keep encountering that same old look — "stink eye."

After asking other women if they have ever experienced it, some know exactly what I speak of, while others shuck it off as craziness. What is it that makes some women go out of their way to be cruel and spiteful toward other women, other than the obvious self-loathing, jealousy and lack of confidence? How should I react?

—Getting her Signal

Aloha Getting:

In a utopian society, there would be no war, disease or spiteful bitches. But, alas, we live in a world of all of the above. And while we can't control most of the world's evils, we do have the power to fortify our spirit so that judgmental glares don't affect us. Why allow someone's negativity to shape our self-image?

Instead of trying to analyze the motivation of the nasty, invest it in yourself. Your daily mantra: "I am strong, beautiful and at peace. I forgive others for what they do not know."

FIRST DATE

Turn-Ons:

1. Being treated as an equal.

2. Going someplace to talk like a restaurant or park on a nice day.

3. Feeling comfortable with that person.

Turn-Offs:

1. Being too aggressive.

2. Trying to be "in charge" of the date.

3. Trying to convince me to do something I don't want to do at that time.

—Carol Johnson

MAILBAG

Dear Advice Diva:

It was amusing to see reader Christine's response to my comments about my wife not objecting to my objectifying beautiful women. What was so amusing was Christine's baiting me with a hypothetical, "I wonder how Rob would feel if his girlfriend reported that she saw an extraordinarily muscular guy in our living room?"

Well, I am a bisexual in my admiration of beautiful people. My example of beautiful actors included Keith Hamilton Cobb. My wife knew I was bisexual before we got together and she accepted that as part of my charm.

—Rob Boyte in Miami

Dear Rob:

You and your wife were totally in sync. Not so with the ogling husband and offended wife. Harmony starts with good communication, and this couple had none.

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@herald.com.