Neither Nicole Nishimoto nor Alexander Cheng were looking for a relationship.

Both had just gotten out of one and wanted to just be single. The next time they dated, they promised themselves, the relationship had to last.

So when the two met at a Gen-X ministry with New Hope Christian Fellowship in June 2004, dating wasn't on their minds at all.

"It was nothing," said Nishimoto, 26, a student at the University of Hawai'i-West O'ahu. "I wasn't looking for a boyfriend. And besides, he wasn't my type."

They had hardly anything in common. She loved crafting and home decorating; he lived for surf. She had impeccable taste in clothing; he wore whatever was clean.

"If he likes something, there's a really good chance I won't," said Nishimoto, laughing.

Despite their differences they became friends, talking on the phone for hours about everything from their faith to past relationships to career dreams.

They both started reading Joshua Harris' "I Kissed Dating Goodbye," which provides a blueprint for how young Christians should date. The philosophy is rooted firmly in purity, and the two friends subscribed to that.

"I didn't want to go down that same path," said Nishimoto, who has a 6-year-old daughter, Taylor. "If we did date, that was going to be it."

One thing they agreed on: absolute honesty.

So when Cheng developed more-than-just-friends feelings for Nishimoto a few months later, he came out and told her.

"I sat her down and said, 'I really like you, I'm fond of you, I'm crazy about you,' " said Cheng, 27, a senior designer with Jon Duarte Design Group. "I had to spill my guts."

Nishimoto was surprised by his confession. She didn't know what to say. She liked him, but she wasn't sure about jumping into a relationship. So she told him she'd talk to her parents and get back to him later.

"That was the biggest rejection of my life," said Cheng.

They both decided if they were going to start dating, they would do it the right way, Nishimoto said. That meant no sleepovers, no late-night phone calls, no making the relationship a priority in their lives.

"It was such a different approach to what either of us had done before," Nishimoto said.

They went on their first date — "Spiderman" at the Consolidated Ward 16 Theatre — in October 2004. No hand-holding, no kiss goodnight.

"It was very respectable," Cheng said.

The couple saw each other twice a week, but they stayed in touch nearly everyday, whether on the phone or through e-mail. They were very conscious about not monopolizing the other's time.

Over the next few months, the relationship strengthened. They prayed for each other and did devotionals together. By now Nishimoto felt comfortable taking her daughter out with them, though always in a big group. But they took that part slowly.

"I didn't want (Taylor) to feel like I was stealing (Nicole) away from her," Cheng said.

By February they were already talking marriage.

It shouldn't have been a surprise to Nishimoto when Cheng proposed in March — they had picked out the ring together and planned a lunch where Cheng would ask Nishimoto's father for his blessing — but it was.

The day after Cheng's lunch with his soon-to-be father-in-law, he had a dinner reservation at Assaggio in Mililani. But first he convinced Nishimoto he had to pick up a journal at his friend's house in Mililani Tech Park.

It was pouring and Nishimoto, dressed in cream Ann Taylor pants, didn't want to get out of the car.

"She was getting a little annoyed," Cheng said with a smile.

But that irritation disappeared as soon as she stepped into the house.

The living room was decked in satin sheets, rose petals and more than a hundred candles. In the center was a stool and Cheng's guitar. He sat her down and sang to her "True" by Ryan Cabrera. Then he dropped to his knee and proposed.

"He was really nervous," Nishimoto said, teasingly. "He was tearing up. I wasn't."

The couple married on Nov. 12 at the JW Marriott Ihilani Resort & Spa in front of 180 guests. After a quick honeymoon on Lana'i, they moved into the three-bedroom townhome in Mililani Mauka they had bought a few weeks before.

They're still learning to live with each other, but so far, the transition has been smooth.

Their biggest challenge right now is finding time to spend together. Trips to Wal-Mart have become a big event.

"Our days are so packed," Nishimoto said. "We haven't had a date since we got married."

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com.