Dear Advice Diva: I'm with this guy who's really cool, but it seems like there is never any conversation between us. It might start off good, but then gets dry and quiet. I feel like he's holding back on me because he has trust issues from past experiences. I want him to open up to me without fear of being hurt, because I have that fear, too, but I'm willing to talk. Can you give me advice on what to do?

—Sundaze

Dear Sundaze: You've got a Shy Guy on your hands, and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, the Advice Diva prefers Shy Guys over obnoxious, fast-talking players. So he has a few trust issues — who doesn't? The fact that you're shy, too, and the conversation never really takes off is the (small) obstacle you must overcome.

Start with being open about your mutual shyness. When the dialogue grinds to a halt, smile at him and confess, "I guess we're both pretty shy. Maybe we should just read books together or something." That, or visiting museums or seeing movies; all great Shy People date activities.

Give Shy Guy some time to open up. If you like him and admire his qualities, let his social awkwardness ride. He'll warm up when he's ready.

Dear Advice Diva: My wife and I have been married 14 years. She's been hounding me about what I'm going to do when I retire.

We decided to get into lawn care, so I got a new mower. My wife was so excited, telling the family she'd take care of the bookkeeping.

One evening after mowing a yard, I went to the computer to prepare the invoice. My wife was cooking. When we sat down for dinner, I said to her, "I thought you were supposed to take care of the bookkeeping." Well, she blew up and said I could take care of it all myself. My response was flipping my dinner plate over, except I threw it harder than expected and it crashed on the floor. She decided to see a counselor. I refuse to go because, in my opinion, my action was somewhat justified and I have never done this before.

—No Dinner

Dear No Dinner: The flipped plate, along with your wife's knee-jerk ire, is a red flag that your relationship needs an emotional tune-up. Go with your wife to the counselor. It's not a sign of weakness, nor an admission of guilt; it's an act of confidence and bravery that could save your retirement years from becoming hell on earth.

Reader poll: The Advice Diva is conducting her first unofficial reader poll: What are the biggest first-date turn-ons and turn-offs (three each)? Results to be posted in a future column.

Write to: www.advicedivaherald.com or The Advice Diva, Miami Herald, 1 Herald Plaza, 5th floor, Miami, FL 33132.