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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Saturday, April 10, 2010

Allow me to refresh mayor's memory

By David Shapiro

Several readers told me they heard Mayor Mufi Hannemann refer to me in a TV interview as "Who?"

I'd say it hurt my feelings, but the big guy would never believe I have any. To reintroduce myself to the mayor, let's do something different and revisit my Top 10 Mufi "flASHbacks" from the past few years:

10. The city is testing an emergency warning system that allows voice messages as well as sirens. When there's imminent danger, residents will be able to hear the voice of Mayor Mufi Hannemann advising them to "RUN!"

9. Mayor Mufi Hannemann let a City Council budget socking O'ahuans with tax and fee increases become law without his signature. That's the political equivalent of wearing a condom.

8. Mayor Mufi Hannemann planned to greet the vacationing Obamas' plane, but was waved off when the first family asked for privacy. Poor Hannemann had to spend the rest of the day looking for somebody else's glow to bask in.

7. Mayor Mufi Hannemann's new campaign ad shows him passing a basketball to fellow 'Iolani alum Derrick Low. It's good to see the mayor has picked up a new hoops skill since high school.

6. Mayor Mufi Hannemann blamed a typographical error by the state for the EPA's $1.2 billion crackdown on O'ahu sewage treatment plants. Auwe, the memo meant to say there's "crab" in the water.

5. Honolulu Mayor Mufi Hannemann set up a committee to explore a possible run for governor next year. It's kind of like a Rottweiler exploring the rib roast on the dinner table.

4. Tax collections to pay for Honolulu's planned rail transit system are running well behind expectations for the year. At this rate, Mayor Mufi Hannemann will only be able to afford a train that goes halfway to nowhere.

3. Mayor Mufi Hannemann got $500 a head to sing at his gubernatorial fundraiser, while Elton John's top price is only $157 for his Blaisdell concert in January. The difference is Sir Elton can't hand out transit contracts as door prizes.

2. Mayor Hannemann concluded his State of the City speech by singing "I Am Hawai'i." For his next number, he and his ego are rehearsing a duet of "We Are The World."

1. "Megalodon, The Largest Shark That Ever Lived" arrived from Florida for a Bishop Museum showing just as Mayor Mufi Hannemann left for a conference in Florida. Seems like a fair trade.