When I had to lean in close to the hostess and shout my name so we could get on the restaurant's wait list, it was obvious we were in for another ear-splitting evening.

"Do you have an area that might be a little quieter?" I asked her, as some faux-Irish band blared in the background.

"I'll try," she shouted back. "But it may be a little while."

We eventually were seated in a small side room, away from the restaurant's huge, overflowing barroom and sidewalk patio — but the waiter still had to bend low to hear our orders.

Some people might call the place too loud. But the truth is, it's probably exactly what its owner wants.

Its target customers are under-35s more interested in drinking, having fun and meeting people than in having a relaxing (i.e., boring) dinner.

Still, that doesn't fully explain why so many restaurants of all kinds are so loud, especially when so many people complain about it.

After bad service, noisy dining rooms are the second-most common gripe of diners nationwide, according to data from the Zagat Survey, known for its restaurant rating guides.

Veteran restaurant designer Kerry Gluckman, who teaches interior design at his alma mater, Wayne State University, says stylistic trends are part of the problem.

"People like that exposed ceiling look. The surfaces are hard up there, and if they use a hard surface on the floor, there's nothing to absorb the sound waves," says Gluckman, 52, of Ferndale, Mich. Adding a few carpeted areas can help, he says, but many owners try to avoid that because it forces them to use two kinds of floor-cleaning equipment.

And, he adds, some restaurateurs do think noise is good for business. "They feel that, psychologically, when it's real noisy, guests get the impression the place is busy and there's a lot of action going on."

If you aren't one of them — or you still want to hear what your spouse has to say — you can try some strategies that might help you have a quieter meal.

First, avoid a busy bar, says Gluckman. Not only are patrons likely to be louder, bars often use hard materials such as glass, marble, laminate, wood and tile that bounce sound waves around like crazy.

Try to sit in a booth, preferably one with a padded fabric-covered back. The microscopic holes in woven upholstery fabrics help deaden sound, Gluckman says. Leather is OK, but fabric is best.

Other ways to turn down the volume: Try not to sit near large parties; they all talk at once and tend to shout at their friends seated five chairs away. Avoid tables near the kitchen, which not only makes noise but funnels kitchen sounds into the dining room. Sit near a wall or a corner. Dine on slower nights.

And simply ask the hostess for a quiet table — if there is one. You may have to wait a few minutes longer, but you'll be glad you didn't have to yell at your dinner companion all night.