honoluluadvertiser.com

Sponsored by:

Comment, blog & share photos

Log in | Become a member
The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Thursday, May 22, 2008

DIKITO FUNERAL
Hundreds pay final respects to slain wife

Photo gallery: In memory of Della Dikito

By Will Hoover
Advertiser Staff Writer

Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

Blayne Dikito, center, is comforted by cousin Lexa Quiocho next to the casket of his mother, Della Dikito, during her graveside service at Mililani Memorial Park. Blayne's youngest sister, Brenna "Aloha," 8, is at left.

Photos by BRUCE ASATO | The Honolulu Advertiser

spacer spacer

HOW TO HELP

  • On Tuesday, Big City Diner customers with fundraiser fliers will have 15 percent of their total purchase donated to the Dikito children. Offer good at any of the five Big City Diner locations. Fliers can be picked up at any Big City Diner location, or printed from the company's Web site, www.bigcitydinerhawaii.com/daily.asp.

    Check donations to help with the Dikito children's daily expenses can be sent to Blayne Dikito, Big City Diner Corporate Office, 94-800 'Uke'e St., Waipahu, HI 96797.

  • Also, donations to Friends of the Dikito Children can be made at any First Hawaiian Bank, or mailed to Friends of the Dikito Children, P.O. Box 6133, Kane'ohe, HI 96744.

  • spacer spacer
    Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

    Pastor Rod Shimabukuro delivered a message of love during the funeral service for Della Dikito. Dikito was recalled fondly yesterday by friends and relatives as a gentle and fun woman, devoted to family, and a person given to acts of kindness as a way of life.

    spacer spacer
    Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

    Della Dikito, 38, was slain in her Ewa by Gentry home on April 25 by her high school sweetheart and husband of two decades, who then shot himself. They leave behind children ranging in age from 8 to 18.

    spacer spacer
    Hawaii news photo - The Honolulu Advertiser

    People filed past a photo collage of Della Dikito yesterday as they entered the Mililani Memorial Park Mauka Chapel to pay their respects. Dikito was killed by her husband, Domingo, who then shot himself, leaving behind four children.

    spacer spacer

    WAIPI'O — Hundreds of people turned out yesterday to celebrate the life of Della Lynn Dikito, so many that organizers hastily changed the schedule of events to give everyone time to pay their respects before the afternoon burial service.

    Visitors began arriving as early as 8 a.m. at the Mililani Memorial Park & Mortuary. An hour later, the mortuary's Mauka Chapel, which seats 500, was packed, and a line of people snaked from the chapel entrance, down and around the sidewalk, and continued along the side of the building. Meanwhile, vehicles continued to arrive.

    By the time the service began, the 500 seated mourners were surrounded by an estimated 120 people crammed into every available inch of extra chapel space. Others simply stood out on the lawn. Approximately 75 people filled the adjacent cafeteria, listening to the memorial over the room's loudspeaker system. An inadequate total of 350 colorfully printed funeral programs had already become collector's items.

    It was an outpouring of sentiment for the 38-year-old mother of four who was slain at her Ewa by Gentry home April 25 by her husband of two decades, Domingo "Bunny" Dikito, 39, who then took his own life.

    Stunned neighbors described the couple as friendly and happy, and the family as the least likely for such tragedy to ever befall. The question for almost all who have pondered the situation since is, why? So far, there have been few answers.

    George and Marion Uemoto, the Dikitos' neighbors, still can't make sense of it.

    "It's just a tragedy," Marion Uemoto said yesterday. "It should have never happened. But, it did. It's just sadness."

    TEARS AND SMILES

    There were plenty of tears during yesterday's service, but there also was an abundance of warmth during what Pastor Rod Shimabukuro described as a "collage of memories" for Dikito, who was recalled fondly by friends and relatives as a gentle and fun woman, devoted to family, and a person given to acts of kindness as a way of life.

    At one point the chapel gathering watched a collage of photos of Della Dikito on a screen located near the front. In dozens of pictures of Dikito — by herself, with friends, family, neighbors, children, and fellow workers from Better Brands, where Dikito worked for years as a clerk — she seemed content and serene, always wearing a smile.

    Almost conspicuously absent from the collage was Domingo Dikito (though he was seen in a couple of snapshots with his kids), father of four children now orphaned, Della Dikito's high school sweetheart and life partner of two decades — and the person responsible for so much grief and sorrow for which there's no logical explanation.

    Prior to the shooting, Domingo Dikito, a forklift operator, was described as outgoing, friendly and forever fun. Possibly the word most used yesterday to describe Della Dikito was loving. And as the pastor emphasized, through love, one can overcome seemingly impossible adversity.

    It was a message one member of what's left of the immediate Dikito family may have taken to heart.

    TAKING THE HELM

    Following the service, Blayne Dikito, 18, oldest of the Dikito children, appeared to be momentarily overcome with grief, and was comforted outside the chapel by a family friend.

    Then, gaining his composure, the young man assumed his role as new head of the household, and turned to face a bevy of waiting reporters.

    Asked for his reaction to the flood of people who showed up to honor his mother, he said, "I am not surprised. She touched everybody's hearts, and she loved everybody. ... She went out of her way to always do anything for everybody. I'll miss her. Everybody will."

    Particularly valuable at this time, he said, were life lessons he learned from his mother through her compassion, kindness and intelligence.

    "I have to always be here for them," he said of his three younger sisters — Brelynn, 15, Bronlyn, 13, and Brenna "Aloha," 8.

    "They live life the same way as if mom was here. I would say the same things to them that mom would say, 'Eat dinner, go take a shower, get ready for school' — everything that mom did, I'm continuing it."

    Blayne and his girlfriend, Nicole Respecio, have an 8-month-old daughter, Shyla Lynn Hokulani Dikito. Shyla, too, will be raised in a way that would make his mother proud, he said.

    Among the folks who came to yesterday's service were friends who had nearly lost touch — such as Saufeni Manisela, 27, of Waipahu, who shared a warm hug with Blayne.

    "I knew him when he was a little kid," said Manisela after the brief reunion. "I'm so glad to see him because I hadn't seen him in a long time. He became big. Still has the same face, though. He's strong."

    And then, after a pause, Manisela added, "Too much heartache for a kid to go through."

    His mother's service had at least offered some closure, Blayne had said. But for him and his sisters, there remains one more detail that will test their strength, and the courage of their convictions.

    And that happens today, when the four children will attend a smaller, far less celebrated, private funeral at the same chapel. This one will be for their dad.

    Reach Will Hoover at whoover@honoluluadvertiser.com.