To many parents, the mere mention of sleepovers can trigger visions of sleepless nights and cranky kids the day after.

Some moms wonder how to know whether their child is ready to leave the nest overnight.

Others struggle with the whole idea of sending a child to another home: How well do they really know the parents?

Des Moines, Iowa-area moms who are veterans of this childhood tradition say good preparation and ground rules are the keys to a sleepover that your child will love and that won't keep you awake with worry.

Sleepover requests often begin around kindergarten or first grade. But experienced moms say age shouldn't be a deciding factor. Emotional readiness is the key.

"It's important to hone into each individual child and their comfort zone," says Amy Hauser, mother of two in Johnston, Iowa.

Family studies experts agree. Don't ever try to talk your child into a sleepover, advises Sedahlia Crase, a family studies professor at Iowa State University. "A desire to go to a sleepover needs to be shown by the child," she says, even if that doesn't happen until well past kindergarten.

Crase had a friend whose child wasn't comfortable with sleepovers until age 9. Until then, "the family would come up with a reason to pick up the child prior to bedtime, thus protecting her from having friends make fun of her or treat her as immature," she recalls.

It's also not unusual for children to be comfortable with sleepovers for a period of time and then change their minds.

Hauser's son, now 12, began sleepovers in first grade. Then a disagreeable time at overnight camp soured him on them.

Many mothers prefer that first sleepovers happen with relatives or close friends. Even later, some moms restrict sleepovers only to families they know well from their circle of friends.

"The most important thing is to know the family," advises Lisa Newman of West Des Moines. She and her husband have four children, ages 8, 13, 18 and 20.

As children reach middle school, Newman says, it gets harder to stay close to the families of your children's friends. "So I make sure the parents will be home, that they'll be there for the whole night. Generally, I have a preference for sleepovers at our house."

SLEEPOVER PREPARATION

Planning a sleepover at your place? Here are some tips: