When rowdiness quickly overtook last week's meeting on Kaua'i about the future of the Hawaii Superferry, Gov. Linda Lingle tried to settle things down by reminding the audience of the Aloha State's tradition of mutual respect.

"We want a meeting that respects all people," she said. "That's the way of Hawai'i. We recognize that feelings are intense, passions are high, but that shouldn't take away the basis of who we are as a people."

The sentiment drew some applause, but didn't make much difference. The audience of more than 1,000 continued to boo, shout down and curse the governor and other speakers who said anything they didn't want to hear about the Superferry resuming trips to Kaua'i.

The fact is, Lingle's description of who we are may be outdated; what we saw is perhaps exactly the kind of people we're becoming — rude, self-righteous loudmouths who refuse to hear out others and feel entitled to get our way by any means necessary.

While Kaua'i protesters complain their voices aren't being heard, only 55 percent of the county's registered voters cast ballots in the last governor's election and, unlike Maui, nobody on Kaua'i bothered to file a timely appeal against the state's decision to skip an environmental assessment for Superferry operations at Nawiliwili Harbor.

The taste for confrontation over civil means of resolving disputes isn't unique to Kaua'i.

Moloka'i hunters have hinted at armed standoffs if the Nature Conservancy brings in New Zealand experts to thin the population of wild pigs.

Opponents of Leeward landfills on O'ahu have started a fund to defend anybody arrested for civil disobedience.

Some Kona residents on the Big Island have threatened to throw their bodies before garbage trucks if the county follows a federal mandate to haul Hilo rubbish to the west side.

High-pitched rhetoric can't substitute for the work of democracy — becoming informed, voting, talking out differences, balancing competing interests, finding the path to consensus that best serves the common good.

When public discourse turns to shouting instead of talking, it only ensures that we'll never find workable solutions to the problems that bedevil us.

A quieter reminder of our challenge occurred Saturday when the Hawai'i 2050 Task Force met at the Hilton Hawaiian Village to unveil a draft of its plan for a sustainable future.

One panel included members of The Advertiser's Teen Editorial Board, some of Hawai'i's brightest high school students, was described by Advertiser reporter Will Hoover:

"The students had just finished expressing their mutual hope for Hawai'i in the coming years when panelist Paul Iona of Kamehameha Schools was asked if he thought he would live in Hawai'i after graduation.

"'To be frank, no,'" he said without hesitation — which garnered a follow-up question asking for a show of hands of all those on the panel who did expect to be in Hawai'i when they are age 35. Not one hand went up. Instead, the teenagers sat and stared in silence, as if they couldn't believe it themselves.

"There was a pause, an audible gasp, and nervous laughter from the audience — after which the tone of the meeting wasn't the same."

It's not that we don't know what our problems are; the 2050 draft report identified the needs — economic health, affordable housing, quality education, modern infrastructure, environmental responsibility, universal healthcare, traffic solutions, respect for Hawai'i's cultural heritage. The students simply don't believe we can muster the will, patience or commonality of interests to find difficult solutions.

The sense that our plight is hopeless will persist until we make it a point to once again become the kind of mutually respecting people we like to think we are.

David Shapiro, a veteran Hawai'i journalist, can be reached by e-mail at dave@volcanicash.net. Read his daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.