The joy of handing out miniature Almond Joys to neighborhood urchins is highly overrated.

Especially when you consider all things Halloween going on around O'ahu on All Hallow's Eve and the eves before — things you'd miss if you stayed at home watching another John Carpenter movie marathon on TV and separating the candy you give away from the stuff you keep for yourself.

Consider this an invitation to turn off the porch light, grab TGIF and leave the comforts of your humble suburban existence behind.

We've got a calendar full of spooky stuff for you to ponder, fronted by a Night Stuff-compiled and approved list of the 10 best after-dark Halloween haunts for the next six days. The list boasts creepy film screenings, haunted villages, hair-raising club and DJ parties and Coco Chandelier doing Michael Jackson — figuratively, not literally.

We've even added a Spook Factor for each event on the list (1 pumpkin = not so chilly; 5 pumpkins = Morgan's Corner alone-at-midnight spooky) to help you decide what's for you.

And so in no particular order, prepare to be hallowed out.

1. 'NOSFERATU' AT HAWAI'I THEATRE

This Halloween night screening of German director F.W. Murneau's 1922 silent classic "Nosferatu" is worth checking out for a couple of big reasons.

The first? A rare opportunity to see one of the most terrifying and iconic visual representations of Count Dracula — incomparably portrayed by Max Schreck — on a big screen.

The second? Organist John McCreary accompanying the onscreen menace on the Hawai'i Theatre Robert Morton Orchestral 1,400-pipe-strong theater organ.

How flat-out scary is "Nosferatu"? Think Keanu Reeves and Francis Ford Coppola phoning Winona Ryder to pitch a sequel to 1992's "Bram Stoker's Dracula." The horror! The horror!

7 p.m. Halloween, Hawai'i Theatre; $8; 528-0506.

Spook factor: 4

2. ROCK-A-WEEN HALL-O-WEEN WITH THE ROMANTICS AND BERLIN

"Take My Breath Away" and "Talking In Your Sleep" done live by the original instigators on the same night? Spooky! Detroit born-and-bred pop rockers The Romantics are best known for rockin' '80s high school gym dances with "Sleep" and "What I Like About You." Berlin's orgasmic keyboard swirls on "The Metro" and kittenish Terri Nunn's vocals and moans on "Sex (I'm A ...)" helped us forget how Charlie and Maverick's "Take My Breath Away" flights below the hard deck in "Top Gun" took time away from cool F-14 acrobatics — and probably contributed to Goose's untimely death.

7:30 p.m. Saturday, Events at the Tower, Aloha Tower Marketplace; $32 advance, $42 door, $75 VIP; www.ticketmaster.com, 877-750-4400.

Spook factor: 2

3. SPOOKAPALOOZA HAWAIIAN RAILWAY SOCIETY NIGHTTIME TRAIN RIDES

Not quite the crazy train that Ozzy Osbourne nightmares are made of but, likely, a lot more fun. Cruise the post-sunset spooky railroad tracks of old 'Ewa on Hawaiian Railway Society's vintage engine. Ghost stories will be told — probably about folks lurking in the cane fields with machetes. And you should, of course, feel free to dress up like a machete-wielding cane field worker for the ride.

The two nights of rides are the nonprofit railroad preservation museum's biggest fundraiser of the year.

7, 7:45, 8:30, 9:15 p.m. today and Saturday, Hawaiian Railway Society, 91-1001 Renton Road, 'Ewa Beach; ages 3 and up, $5; reservations at 681-5461, www.hawaiianrailway.com.

Spook factor: 3

4. MONSTER BASH

Promoters are billing this as Hawai'i's only all-electronic-dance-music Halloween celebration. If that doesn't scare you, consider that you'll get bonus points with the front door crew if you sport something "Transformers" themed. Dibs on Megatron!

A room for house, breaks and electro gets turntablists Angel Alanis (Chicago), DJ Fixx (Buffalo, N.Y.), Ikon (Hawai'i), DJ Denise and Aleks (both San Francisco). A room for drum-n-bass gets locals Bass-X, Kause, Konception, Mindgame, MC Enemy and MC Kelvin Zero.

9 p.m.-4 a.m. Saturday, Lava Rock Lounge in the International Market Place, Waikiki; $15 advance, $20-$25 door; www.groovetickets.com.

Spook factor: 1

5. HAUNTED PLANTATION

Consider the warnings from the twisted souls putting this together for a second Halloween at Hawaii's Plantation Village: 14 and younger need adult supervision! Not recommended for pregnant women! Or those with heart conditions! Or those going trick-or-treating as one of The Wiggles! OK, I made that last one up.

Check out Haunted Plantation's very likely Trent Reznor-inspired MySpace site (www.myspace.com/thehauntedplantation) if you don't believe the warnings ... or know how truly spooky rattling kau kau tins can be.

7:30-11:45 p.m. today and Saturday, Hawaii's Plantation Village, 94-695 Waipahu St., $7.

Spook factor: 4

6. FREAKFEST MASSIVE

Sure, there's very little that's potentially scary about this all-night collective of turntablists, save for a $500 costume contest and the possibility of multiple spins of Michael Jackson's "Thriller." But with five rooms (featuring neo-soul, R&B, reggae, dancehall, hip-hop, deep house, '80s, funk, trip-hop and downtempo) with sinister names (Hip-Hop Graveyard, Redrum Patio Lounge, Haunted Monster Mash House, etc.) spread over two Downtown venues (Indigo Eurasian Cuisine, Bar 35) with a single cover charge, I might be punished with sporting something "Transformers"-themed for leaving it out.

9 p.m.-2 a.m. Saturday, Indigo Eurasian Cuisine and Bar 35; $10 with costume. 521-2900, 537-3535.

Spook factor: 1

7. NIGHTCLUB HALLOWEEN IN WAIKIKI

There's no connection between any of these nightclub Halloween parties, but if you're haunting Waikiki traffic in costume, consider: