Miss Manners has been reincarnated as a dapper, young black man — Derek Watkins, aka Fonzworth Bentley.

Bentley is on a mission to civilize the hip-hop generation. His etiquette book, "Advance Your Swagger" (Villard, 2007, $24.95), is a hilarious mix of old-fashioned charm and street cred.

Your teens will know Bentley as the personal assistant to hip-hop icon Sean (Diddy) Combs. Bentley insists he got the job because he remembered to say "please."

He's now doing everything from covering the Oscars for "Access Hollywood" to producing music. In his book, he tells the secrets of his success, which include knowing how to eat out of something other than a paper bag.

The color photos of his dining do's and don'ts are worth the price alone. Like the one of the guy slathering a roll with butter and nearly swallowing it whole.

"Not a good look," Bentley warns. "The only exception to this is if you're eating some good, hot biscuits."

He also warns guys not to flip their ties over their shoulders before digging in, and certainly never to form a wind tunnel with their lips to cool their soup.

And then there's cell-phone etiquette. Using the hottest cut as your ring tone may go over well with your buddies, but what about the day your employer calls? Greeting your boss with a chorus of "I'm So Hood" could mean the difference between getting paid or getting passed over.

Thankfully, Bentley lists the places where cell-phone calls are not acceptable, including funerals and movies.

And parents may want to call their teenagers' attention to Page 82: It's official. Sagging is a drag. Pull up your pants!

Now that Bentley is civilizing Gen-Xers, someone needs to help baby boomers meet them halfway. For example, employers should note that men now commonly sport full sets of earrings. And while tattoos used to be signs of fringe politics or deep dysfunction, these days, they're just decoration.

That sense of evolving mores also applies to natural hairstyles for blacks. There was a day when a giant Afro came with Angela Davis-sized anger. And dreadlocks were associated with Rastafarians. Not anymore.

Still, many black — and Polynesian — professionals may hesitate to wear their hair naturally for fear of reprisals at work.

For advice on that issue, I contacted Glamour's editor-in-chief, Cindi Leive.

"With natural hairstyles, the issue isn't whether you can wear them, but whether the styles are professional and polished," she says.