Oh, if only some hip techie with TiVo and a YouTube registration would get on to this. Please, for the good of our community. For the sake of discussion. For the sheer entertainment value.

The state Senate Judiciary and Labor Committee hearing last Wednesday had all the makings of a hit clip on "Web Junk" or "Best Week Ever."

There was a Lingle nominee for Circuit Court judge sitting stoically through a pulehu that could only come from Sen. Clayton Hee. Hee was busting out his incendiary "six or seven people I talked to" and "one judge I know, who you would recognize if I disclosed his name" tactics to back up the actual testimony of two people who felt the nominee lacks the necessary judicial temperament. These anonymous Hee-whisperers were somehow given the same weight as testimony delivered in person and writing. Did you know all you have to do to sway a lawmaker's mind is talk stink at a cocktail party and finish your sordid story with "But I no like use my name"?

But that wasn't even the YouTube part.

A debate flared over allegations that the nominee used the F-word. A lot. Freely, and with impunity, at least outside the courtroom.

The whole exchange then teetered into the absurd. Hee mused on the appropriateness of such language in polite society. He talked about what swearing indicated about the swearer. It became a strange little piece of theater. I imagined Lee Tonouchi rewriting his pidgin manifesto to capture the moment:

"If you use da F-word, you no can ...

be one judge

be one teacha'

be one state senatah."

The first time around it was just weird, but if captured and shared on YouTube, maybe in a hip mash-up with a rockin' beat, it would be downright hilarious.

Hee, leaning back in his chair, one arm draped over the side, the other hand stroking the place where his moustache used to be, did interject this disclosure:

"Now, I'm no saint. I readily admit that."

This, and accusations of "disrespectful behavior" from a man who frequently referred to fellow OHA trustee John Waihee IV as "boy" during official meetings. Let Hee who is without sin cast the first stone.

What is going on at the state Capitol when our elected leaders are wasting their time talking about the use of profanity and its deleterious effect on society? Can't we get past the "she's too crude to be prom queen" measure of a person's worth and instead focus on abilities and accomplishments?

And what was that reference Attorney General Mark Bennett made at the hearing about drinking beer and maybe swearing a bit in Hee's legislative office? Does the no-drinking, no-swearing, no-beer-at-Aloha Stadium lieutenant governor know about this? Get Aiona to do a booze raid one night in the legislators' offices. And please, get it on video so we can all enjoy the hypocrisy.

Lee Cataluna's column runs Tuesdays, Fridays and Sundays. Reach her at 535-8172 or lcataluna@honoluluadvertiser.com.