Maybe it's because he does ghost tours. Maybe it's because he was left alone too much as a kid. Whatever the reason, Lopaka Kapanui doesn't leave his fifth-grader, Hiwalani, 11, home alone — even if he's going grocery shopping.

"I always joke with her, 'I'll leave you alone when you're 35 and you have your Ph.D.,' " he said. "That's also about the same time she can have a boyfriend."

Psycho-overprotective? Or smart?

With spring break either coming up or in full swing throughout O'ahu, parents are struggling with the question: Is my child ready to be left home alone?

"A lot of parents conveniently forget what they were like on the loose when they were young," said Rick Bundschuh.

With 30 years of working with youth, the Kaua'i father of four and author of "Surviving Middle School" admits he himself was no angel.

"My mother let me stay home while they went camping for the weekend," he recalls. "I invited everybody I knew over."

Then, the camping trip got rained out.

"Needless to say, I had to go camping for countless years after that," said Bundschuh.

Parents might assume their child's maturity level is higher than it is simply as a quick fix for a childcare problem — even for high-schoolers.

"Parents are unrealistic if they think they can leave kids alone for any great length of time," he said. "That goes triple or quadruple if involved in some kind of romantic relationship."

Junior might be ready for some space if he's earned it, of course, Bundschuh said: "A little comes with responsibility. Most kids in high school are not ready for great lengths but can be left for periods of time."

His parental trick of the trade is to arrange for a benevolent spot check — preferably by the parents, or by enlisting the aid of an adult friend or relative cued to randomly swing in, unannounced.

"What happens, if they're aware at any time that the game could be up, is it tends to slow a lot of stuff down," he said. "They're not going to go full nuts if Grandpa or Uncle is coming by with plate of cookies."

This also allows the youth an out if their friends want to take advantage of the adult-free zone.

"It gives them an excuse for being the party pooper," he said, "or for girls, an excuse not to have a guy over: 'They might tell my parents, and then I'm so dead.' "

Showing up with lunch or a plate of cookies keeps the spot checks from feeling like a leash, he said.

Yes, there are those ethically advanced kids who can be left alone, who have shown they can obey family rules and who carry responsibilities with maturity.

"Usually somebody responsible in little things is generally responsible in big things," he said.

So when Bundschuh's daughter, for example, had turned in schoolwork regularly, made responsible friends and followed all the house rules, he knew she was able to be left alone for a couple of hours. As she progressed in maturity, he gave her incrementally more freedom.

"If kids stay in boundaries, trust them with a little bit longer," he said. "In general, sure, the more a kid is able to handle the little stuff, the more you give them leash. But there are limits. Leaving a kid at home every day for a week without anybody checking on them is probably a recipe for disaster."

Hiwalani's dad, Lopaka Kapanui, remembers the pain of being a latchkey kid.

"I felt abandonment," he recalled. "I felt like my parents didn't care, though on their part, they felt I was OK."

And even though Hiwalani at 11 is an "old soul," she's still his daughter.