Did you know that frogs can't swallow with their eyes open? Can you? Of course you can, but when it comes to swallowing medicine, pride or experiences that make us choke with distaste, embarrassment or grief, it's much harder.

In October, I received news that my 21-year-old nephew had died in a single-car accident. It was a shocking, life-altering event. I officiated his memorial service with compassion and grief, determined to provide my family with all the support I could. Time has passed and I catch myself taking a big swallow when I think of his accident. Yet, at the same time, his death has had a positive impact, giving me a newfound passion and commitment to life.

For those who have been through similar experiences, you probably know what I am talking about. I am always amazed at how God uses our experiences to help, not only to be in touch with the purpose of our very existence but also to respond in love toward others like we've never experienced before.

Through this experience, I have come to further accept the fact that we were not created to understand everything, especially during times of grief and disbelief. Life does not make sense without God in our hearts. But we are created to trust in a God who hurts when we hurt, and rejoices when we rejoice.

I like the idea that "grief is proof that love prevails over death." We hurt deeply because we love deeply. It is this kind of deep and abiding love that allows us to keep those we have loved, and lost, so much a part of our lives. The Apostle Paul tells us that nothing can keep us from the Love of Christ (Romans 8:38-39). If we love as Christ loves, then the hope of life everlasting keeps us strong.

Through my recent experience, I also came to respect people's needs during times of grief and the importance of allowing people to "move on" at their own pace. I believe family and faith can help us do that in a very healthy way. Author Erwin Raphael McManus said, "When we dwell on the past, we tend to want to live there. When we dream of the future, we want to go there."

If we see our future with God, we are provided with amazing gifts in life that will help us get there, gifts such as hope, peace, joy and love. It is these gifts that help us move from grief-stricken holidays to love-prevailing holidays.

During this Christmas season, let's allow our friends, families and co-workers to swallow a few times if the holidays get tough. We can best notice this if we keep our eyes open during the times that we find ourselves needing to take a big swallow. May God guide us, sustain us, and enliven us during these holiest of days.

The Rev. Darren T. Galindo is pastor of Windward United Church of Christ in Kailua. Expressions of Faith is a column that welcomes submissions from pastors, priests, lay workers and other leaders in faith and spirituality. E-mail faith@honoluluadvertiser.com or call 525-8035. Articles submitted to The Advertiser may be published or distributed in print, electronic or other forms.