When Steve Holck met his wife-to-be for the first time, he fell to his knees and thanked God for the woman who had been sent to him by divine providence — via the Net.

The 51-year-old pro-life activist had suffered a devastating blow: His wife died suddenly in November, leaving him alone to care for three grandchildren and one daughter. He was at a complete loss: "I didn't know how to cook! I prayed, 'Lord, I need a mother for these children; I need a helpmate.' "

About a month after the tragedy, he said he felt a hand guiding him to eHarmony.com, an online site that matches potential mates with a lengthy questionnaire. One of his five first matches seemed perfect, especially her belief that a couple should stay married, no matter what.

Now they're sure they've entered "happily ever after" territory.

For the Holcks and others who have discovered potential mates by putting their faith in their search engine, the Internet offers a good match for religion-minded singles. The online dating industry, in return, is seeing growth in this area, though like many love stories, its faithful users are finding it has its good, bad and ugly sides.

VITAL STATS

While online dating seems to be leveling off, the industry still made $516 million last year, reports OnlinePersonalsWatch.com editor and analyst Mark Brooks, quoting Jupiter Research. That translates to more than 20 million registered users, and about 2 million paying members.

And while faith-based sites don't make a huge piece of that pie — Brooks estimates it's about 15 percent — it does seem to be growing. The largest faith-based niche sites: Relationships, JDate and ChristianCafe (Christian, Jewish and Christian, respectively).

"This particular segment is doing very well, thank you," Brooks said in his charming English accent (yes, he's single and can be found on YahooMatch). "A lot of people have a 'thing' they're looking for; consequently the niche and focus sites are growing."

With the number of people using such sites doubling in the past few years, the Pew Internet and American Life Project tried to make sense of the issue of online dating in a survey released in March 2005. It found that while 46 percent of Americans consider themselves religious, only 29 percent of online daters do. So it stands to reason that those 29 percent are religiously pursuing soulmates who think like them.

HELP AT HAND

With faith-based sites, online daters can narrow the field to meet only others who share their values. Besides general spirituality-based sites, like Beliefnet's soulmatch.com, other sites weighing spiritual beliefs into their calculations have sprung up to serve these seekers.

How do you navigate the morass of choices? Help can be found this week when a Christian singles conference at First Presbyterian of Honolulu will, among other things, discuss online Christian dating.

Robin Winterlin, a minister who worked at First Presbyterian for five years before moving to California, will be on hand. She's a firm believer in online dating — she met her husband through a Christian dating site — and knows the tool, in the right hands, carves wonderful results.

"God loves a good love story," said Winterlin.

THE HOLCKS

Steve Holck wasn't having the best luck in his first forays into online dating. Women were bailing on him left and right, Holck said, either because of his home situation or his recent tragedy.

" 'It's too soon,' one lady said. ... And as soon as they heard 'four children,' EHH!" Holck recalled, making the sound of a buzzer.

As Sandra Holck tells it, she had been on the site for a year and had just about given up.

"I'm very picky; I just didn't click with anybody," she said, her North Carolina twang not yet dimmed. But when the 51-year-old divorcee spotted Holck's last-chance attempt to contact her, she responded, then sent her phone number. He called almost the minute she hit "send." In weeks, he was on a plane to the other side of the country.

They met for the first time Jan. 5 and were married in June. As conservative Christians, they chose not to even kiss until the wedding.

"He was a gentleman," she said. "He still is."

THE WINTERLINS

As a female pastor, Winterlin knew it wasn't going to be easy to find the right guy when she started her online search.

"I'm an evangelical who believes in women in all areas of leadership," she said. "I've got a foot in both (conservative and liberal) camps. It was like 'Game's over.' Men couldn't reconcile that with their biblical beliefs."

For men, being a pastor may make them more attractive to women, but the corollary isn't necessarily true, Winterlin said. Plus, the people she spent time with were off-limits ("You don't date anyone in your congregation — it's like a doctor with a patient," she explained), and her busy schedule kept her from attending other churches or checking out their mixers.

"Christian dating sites allow (singles) to be plugged in, to interact with different faiths," Winterlin said.

She, too, felt the hand of God guiding her to the respectful, verbal Baptist gentleman.

"Out of the blue came an e-mail from Larry Winterlin," she recalled. "He asked me things that mattered to me, not just, 'Hey, you're cute.' He asked me about my ministry and how I became a pastor."

After a comfortable amount of time, he asked if he could call. Cut to a year later: They're married. Now, they're expecting.

'MAJOR RED FLAGS'

Not all of Winterlin's online experiences were the stuff of romance novels, however.

"I think there's a reason some people are still out in the dating pool," Winterlin said, ruefully. "Some people are broken."

She remembers the fellow who tracked down her church e-mail address and contacted her there.

"People who break boundaries are major red flags," she said.

And there seemed to be "lots of men out of work, with lots of time on their hands," Winterlin said, such as the guy who had been out of work for four years — something she only learned after asking probing questions.

Sandra Holck, too, was online for awhile; she met men who were coming out of divorces, or wanted her to support them.

She remembers the pastor from Florida who gave her his phone number first: "I didn't think that was right."

Her husband, Steve Holck, has suffered, too, in other ways. But he believes it's all worth it.

"I think a lot of people are scared of the Internet," he said. "My family pretty much disowned me, and don't agree with how fast I moved. I don't consider it a movement on my part, I consider it a movement on God's part."

LEARN MORE

A sampling of online dating sites with a faith-based component:
General: www.soulmatch .com
Catholic: www.catholicmatch.com, www.CatholicSingles.com
Christian: www.ChristianCafe.com, www.BigChurch.com, www.Relationships.com, www.ChristianSingles.com, www.singlesc.com
Buddhist: www.DharmaDate.com
Jewish: Jwww.Date.com, www.JLove.com, www.JewishCafe.com
Muslim: www.MuslimMatch.com and www.zawaj.com
Hindu: www.shaadi.com or www.Bharatmatrimonials.com
Mormon: www.LDSPlanet .com, www.LDSMingle.com, www.LDSSingles.com