Seated at their home on the Marine base at Kane'ohe Bay, John and Barbara DuPree appear like any other thirtysomething couple with two children, trying to get ahead and plan for their future.

They've got dreams of their children, Jack, 6, and Ella, 3, going to college. They'd also like to retire comfortably. They are trying to stick to a budget and pay down debt while saving for the future.

Thousands of couples probably are in the same situation across Hawai'i. Yet the DuPrees' finances are anything but ordinary. Jack, an amiable child who plays happily, is autistic.

That's forced the DuPrees to confront some uncomfortable and sometimes complicated issues that face families with special-needs children. Should they both die prematurely, who would care for Jack and Ella? Would Jack qualify for government benefits for his developmental disability or other medical conditions?

"It's just an overwhelming process," said Barbara, 35.

The DuPrees believed they had a solid plan in place for Jack and Ella, with insurance policies and savings accounts. The family lives on John's pay of $68,000 a year and has a ranch-style home provided by the Marine Corps.

John and Barbara each had $100,000 life insurance policies with each other as the primary beneficiaries and the children as secondary beneficiaries. John, who's been deployed to Iraq twice in the past four years, also has insurance available to active-duty military.

The couple was working to pay off $28,000 in credit-card debt, some of it accumulated as the family set up households during three transfers in six years and handled student loans.

There also was more than $8,000 invested in a mutual fund. The couple thought they had properly structured their finances to take care of Jack and Ella should something happen. Yet there were some questions.

"We just didn't have the knowledge on how to best engineer this," said John, 35. "We thought we had it covered, based on our financial planner at the time."

Then Barbara, an advocate for special-needs children and president of the Kainalu Elementary School Parent-Teacher Association, ran into Kirk Barth, a New England Financial representative, at a Hawaii Congress of Parents, Teachers and Students convention and then again at a Children's Community Council meeting.

Barth had gone through Metropolitan Life Insurance Co.'s focused training for special-needs financial planning. The MetLife program was founded by one of its vice presidents who has two special-needs children.

Barth frequently speaks to groups that include special-needs families on the need for detailed planning. The talks include a startling disclosure: Leaving more than $2,000 to someone with special needs can make them ineligible for government benefits.

That includes losing Social Security payments that can run as much as $600 a month and, perhaps more importantly, Medicaid payments that can cover medical costs over a lifetime.

Barth said many families aren't aware of the $2,000 rule, or that special planning can help them. Some try to get around the rule by leaving the money to someone else who will take care of the family member, but that can result in other problems, he said.

Barth started by asking the DuPrees about their financial concerns and eventually discussed a somber list of worst-case issues involving death, long-term care and disability.

"The initial interview was very overwhelming," said Barbara. Confronting issues of death, how loved ones will be taken care of and other emotional issues was draining. "I didn't want to think about all of this, but it was worth it."

After a subsequent meeting, Barth crafted a special-needs strategy and estate plan for the DuPrees. He worked on the plan addressing various scenarios. One included the couple living full and healthy lives and enjoying retirement; another involving them dying prematurely.

There also was an intermediate scenario that involved what would happen if either or both of them became disabled.

"What we do is hope for the best and plan for the worst," said Barth.

The financial restructuring began with the family winnowing down debt by paying off the highest-interest-rate credit cards first and swearing off getting any new ones. Barbara called companies, asking them for lower interest rates, and now has three credit cards instead of the seven the family once kept.

"I've come to the point where we can't fall back on the credit card," she said.

Barth recommended three attorneys to draw up legal documents. Attorney Stephen Yim redid the existing wills and came up with revocable living trusts for John and Barbara spelling out how assets from the wills would be disbursed, and over what time frame.

Then a supplemental-needs trust for Jack was written up. It allows for payment of his expenses above and beyond those paid for by government, and it is structured in such a way as not to violate the $2,000 ceiling. The trust is amendable and can be reworked for changes in the law or in the DuPrees' situation.

The DuPrees also were told to consider guardianship and conservatorship papers for Jack as he nears age 18 if his developmental disability doesn't fade as the family hopes it will.

The DuPrees also structured the documents so that Ella could be provided for in case she wants to take care of Jack in the future, Barbara said.

Barth also recommended the DuPrees reach out to family members and let them know that leaving anything to Jack in a will might cause problems with the $2,000 limit.

"It's very important that everyone in this family have this knowledge," Barth said. He also had the DuPrees fill out a booklet about Jack to give to caregivers should they need a quick reference on his doctors, friends, schooling, religion, preferences and skills.

Barth also found term life insurance at lower costs and recommended boosting coverage to $250,000 for John and $150,000 for Barbara. Jack was eliminated as a beneficiary of the policies. Barth also found a less-expensive manager for the couple's mutual fund investments.

Barbara set a budget to pay for the increased insurance costs and has begun socking away a small amount of savings each month. She also reset spending priorities through budgeting and no longer buys extravagant gifts.

"More important to us was that we had the (insurance) premiums paid rather than go out and buy a plasma TV," she said. "Now I can sleep a little better, knowing the kids will be taken care of if something happens to us."

The experience made John wonder whether other parents with special-needs children could receive similar financial planning advice before they are deployed. He said he's suggested the program to his commanding officer and wonders if any local sponsors would care to help pick up the costs.

"This is great," John said. "Exactly what we need."

Barth earned a commission on the insurance he arranged for the DuPrees but didn't charge for his estate and planning services. MetLife doesn't allow charging for special-needs planning. Barth said some of his work pays off when the clients refer others to him for their insurance needs.

But the work is some of the most rewarding he does, monetary gains aside, Barth said. "It's just a pleasure to work with these families," he said. "I walk away feeling I've done something good."

Reach Greg Wiles at gwiles@honoluluadvertiser.com.