If the sappy, old "Yes, Santa Claus exists" letter makes you want to take a dose of salts, consider the acerbic alternative, "Santa Lives: Five Conclusive Arguments for the Existence of Santa Claus," by Ellis Weiner. The Jewish editor of National Lampoon offers tidbits such as: If Santa can bring goodies to Christian kids one day a year, he is presumably free to provide largess for the rest of the world on the other 364.

— Wanda Adams

AT TAMARIND PARK

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT FOR WORLD AIDS DAY EVENTS

Today is World AIDS Day 2006. Demonstrate your support by attending the AIDS Awareness Health Fair, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. at Tamarind Park in Bishop Square (includes free massages and manicures). At 6 p.m., the Church of the Crossroads (1212 University Ave.) hosts a ceremony featuring a display of the AIDS Memorial Quilts and a showing of "HIV in Hawaii: Local People, Local Stories." 521-AIDS (521-2437) or www.worldaidsdayhawaii.org.

FINAL WORD

"Actually, I believe there's a fifth-dimensional fact that allows for parallel universes to exist at the same time, in the same location."

Masi Oka | the time-traveling Hiro on "Heroes," in Entertainment Weekly